Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Seventeen

You Go Girl!
Oh, you just have to love the title of the last chapter in The Confident Woman! And you have to admit that Joyce is just so super cool (we tell Addie this constantly- especially when she is wearing sunglasses)!

Don't forget to check out Kristi's blog to see what her thoughts on this chapter are. Kristi is another super-cool person in my book!

Joyce ends her book giving several reminders and pointers on how to carry on the life of a woman whose confidence is found in the Lord. As always, Joyce's words are printed in bold type. I don't know why, but I feel like I am in school writing the final exam essay before summer vacation!

Confident Talk and a Confident Walk

Don't dread the day, attack the day. Know what you want to accomplish today and go for it. I loved this! I am the kind of person who loves knowing what to expect and what my goals are going to be. I have grown in this area in the sense that if I don't hit every item on my list, I no longer get down on myself. I have my list ready, and in the evenings I look forward to the next day, and I am ready to attack...until the alarm clock goes off at 5:30. At that point I don't feel much like attacking, but as I get moving, the more motivated I am to accomplish each goal.

Having a goal to shoot for really helps me in having a definite direction to go in. But I have also learned not to be bound by my list. It is there as a guide for me, but sometimes, as life happens, I have to be willing to change course and go in another direction (another lesson I am learning). But having a starting point and a finish point helps the day move in a direction.

Smile

Smile a lot. People tend to gravitate towards others who smile. A person who genuinely smiles makes us feel comfortable and helps us to be ourselves. It only takes 17 muscles to smile as opposed to 43 muscles to frown. Even babies who have not yet learned anything about communication understand a smile.

Before Addie turned one, she seemed like a very serious baby. In fact, many of her month by month pictures do not show her smiling. However, once her little personality kicked in, that smile of hers blossomed and just lights up the room. In fact, when we are ou and about, people comment about her smile and just how friendly she is. You can even see them smiling as they walk away. Addie is ever the joker and loves to see people smile. If she does something that got a chuckle out of someone, she keeps doing it just to hear them laugh. She also likes for us to smile. In fact, if I am not smiling (like when Addie is trouble), she will try making those sweet, innocent faces that will make me smile (Moms, you know those looks. The ones you have to turn you head so that they don't see you as you try to hold back the laughter because you are supposed to be upset and they can't know they made you laugh! Oh, Mom, now I understand!).

Confident Talk

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and they who indulge in it shall eat the fruit of it (for death or life). Proverbs 18:21

It is always so easy to speak the first thing that pops into our minds, and so often it has a negative tone to it. We need to remember that God's Word always holds true and our words hold tremendous power. How we use those words will in many cases determine the direction that our lives take.

If we really understood the power in words, I think we would change the way we talk. Recently, someone close to us told Addie that she was a flirt because she was being friendly (the way Brian and I have taught her to be) to some retired gentlemen at a restaurant. Those words hurt severely because, first of all, a 2 year old has no concept of what being a flirt means, and secondly, this person does not understand the power of words. Right away, I took those words to the Throne and left them there. I also tried, in a respectful way, to explain that Addie was just being friendly the way we are teaching her to be, especially to those who are older than we are.

Our words are like seeds and our hearts are the soil. We can either plant wonderful words into the lives of those around us or we can plant damaging words. When we understand the power of our words, I think it will make it easier to plant wonderful words in the lives of others.

Speak Life to Yourself.

Speak God's Word over your life. There are so many words out there, but there is only one set of words that really matter- God's Word. His Word brings light into the darkness, faith to the faithless, and life to where death had been.

For those of us who are wives and mothers, we are always speaking God's Word and encouragement to those around us- husbands, children, etc. We often forget to speak God's Word into our own lives. We need to constantly remember to speak God's Word into our lives, our marriages, children, finances, homes, gardens (that was for me- no more talking about dead plants for me!), and any other area you can think of. God's Word brings life, so speak it boldly!

Confident Talk Rubs Off

When I was teaching, I used to tell my students, "You are the best 4th (or 5th) grade class in the whole school!" They would all giggle and then shout back in unison, "We're the only 4th (or 5th) grade class in the whole school!" However, God used that sentence to bring confidence to my students. As the year would go on, I would see a sort of pride (in a good way) in the fact that they were 4th or 5th graders.

If we speak confidently (not pridefully), our confidence will rub off on those around us and they will feel confident, too. From Addie's birth, she has been told what a blessing she is, what a good girl she is, how proud of her we are, how much we love her, and how smart Jesus made her. She has an amazing confidence about her. She walks (more like runs) with her head up, and never views herself as being less than what God made her to be.

Have a Confident Expectation

Let us then fearlessly and confidently and boldly draw near to the throne of grace [the throne of God's unmerited favor to us sinners], that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find grace to help in good time for every need [appropriate help and well-times help, coming just when we need it]. Hebrews 4:16

So many times we are afraid to ask God for anything. When we do ask, we usually put the disclaimer, "and if you choose not to (we really mean can't), I will accept that as Your will." With that kind of attitude, it is a wonder at all that we have answered prayers.

We need to approach God without relying on all of the "stuff" we have heard our whole lives but based on what His Word says. We have heard that He may not. His Word says that He can. We have heard that we are in a new era of the church. His Word does not give an expiration date for any of His gifts, promises, and blessings.

If you have not seen the movie Faith Like Potatoes, I would encourage you to do so. It is a true story based on the life of a South African farmer who came to know the Lord as an adult. Because he had no prior "religious" background, he did not know about the "box" that many of us put God in. He believed only what the Bible said about God and His ability to do anything. Because of the confident expectations he had in the power of God, God answered his prayers and used him mightily.

It's a New Day

I am going to end this post by leaving you with Joyce's closing remarks. I think they say it all.

You go girl! It is a new day. There are no hindrances. The door is wide open for you to realize your dreams. Walk confidently into your future and never look back!

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Sixteen

This week's chapter was "Become A Courageous Woman". We all need courage. No matter what we face in our lives, we all need courage. Courage to face the day. Courage to be the wife that we need to be. Courage to face an uncertain future as we leave one chapter of our lives and enter another. Courage to parent the way God directs us and not the way society prefers.

I have told you these things, so that in Me you may have [perfect] peace and confidence. In the world you have tribulation and trials and distress and frustration, but be of good cheer[take courage; be confident, certain, undaunted]! For I have overcome the world [I have deprived it of power to harm you and have conquered it for you.] John 16:33

God gives courage, the devil gives dis-courage. Anytime there is something positive happening in our lives, satan is guaranteed to try to discourage us in some way. When God is using us the most, that is when satan tries his hardest to bring discouragement into our lives. And although God is always standing beside us ready to give us the courage to face what lies ahead of us, we generally accept the discouragement satan puts in our path. We need to refuse the dis-courage from satan, and grab hold of the courage that God is ready and waiting to offer us.

Courage is contagious, but it also opens up the door for God's deliverance to take place. Joyce gave several stories of uncommon courage. The one that stayed with me was the story of a group of Christians in Japan who were given an ultimatum- recant their faith in Christ or drown. The Christians met together to decide what they would do. They voted to die for their faith. The following day, the policeman who had given the Christians the ultimatum and had taunted the Christians about their decision to die for their faith drowned during a fishing accident in the same river he had planned on drowning the Christians in. Their act of courage opened up the doors to God's deliverance for them.

So many times we consider the cost of courage and whether it is worth the price. But trusting that God will be true to His Word and believing that He will give us the faith and courage to handle the situation at hand will open doors that we never thought possible.

May God give you the courage you need to face whatever situations are in your life right now.

Don't forget to check out Kristi's blog to read her thoughts on this chapter.

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Fifteen

I have really enjoyed reading The Confident Woman, learning about myself in the process, and sharing with you my thoughts on the chapters. In all honesty, while I am reading Joyce's words I feel like my mom is talking to me. Mom was the first person I knew who loved Joyce Meyer, watched her teachings, and read her books. Joyce has such a this-is-how-it-is-and-what-you-need-to-do-to-change-it way about her that is so like Mom. I have caught myself saying, "Yes, Mom," several times. We have two more chapters to go after today. Don't forget to check out Kristi's thoughts on the chapter.

Winners Never Quit is such an appropriate title for this chapter. We are all running the race of life. Some of us run faster, some slower, some are stressed, some take it easy, but we are all running. In our world, we view the winner as the one who crosses the finish line first. But is that what makes us a winner? I think we need to change our view of winner to one who completes the course. Now don't get me wrong, I am not one of those people who believe that scores should be eliminated so no one feels bad about losing a game (that is a lot of nonsense!). But life is not a game. It is a race we are all running. We can either chose to make it to the end or give up half way.

We all have goals in life. Some are easily achievable, some will take time. However, how we view our goals and our ability to meet the challenges that come with each goal determines whether we will be winners or not.

If we stare at our giants too much, the fear of them will overtake us. Keep your eyes on the prize, not the pain. In the Bible, Paul explains how they were pressed on every side and troubled and oppressed in every way. They could see no way out but they refused to give up. We have some goals here. Some are long term and some are short term. I know that for me, if I continue to look at our long term goals, they just seem so far away and out of reach from where we are today. However, if I keep my eye on the prize, the end result of reaching our goals and not the work that will take us there, the journey will not seem so long and hard.

One third of the chapter was a story by Peter Kyne called the Go-Getter. If you have not yet read the story, click on the link to download the free version so that you can read this powerful story of a man who overcame incredible circumstances.

Joyce's final point was Opposition Will Always Be There. How we handle the opposition will determine if we finish our race. Will we allow opposition to stand in our way? Or will we view opposition as strength training? What we need to remember is that God promises to never leave us or forsake us. Regardless of what the opposition is that you are facing in your life right now, our Heavenly Father is beside us and will never leave us to face the opposition on our own. We just need to ask Him to help us overcome the obstacles, the opposition, and the set backs, and know that He will.

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Fourteen

This week's chapter is "Choosing Boldness". Although some of us are not born naturally bold, we can choose to be bold. Some consider boldness to be a reflection of one's confidence, however, that one does not equal the other. Some people are bold in order to hide their lack of confidence. It is a way that some chose to protect themselves. For others, boldness can be a pride issue. They are bold about sharing their opinions, making sure that their voice is heard, and will boldly pat themselves on the back for always being right. However, these types of boldness are not pleasing to God.

As Paul said, "we are self- confident in His confidence." Our self-confidence has to be a direct result of knowing who we are in Christ. Any other confidence that we may have in ourselves and our abilities is sin. We can be confident because Christ first loved us, because of the shed blood of Jesus we are in right standing with God the Father, and because greater is He who is in us than he that is in the world. This is where our self-confidence needs to stem from. This kind of Self confidence is much different than being confident in your self and your abilities. We will all eventually fail or fall short in our looks or abilities. If that is where our se;f-confidence lies then we will be devistated the day we no longer measure up.

We love Tigger and Pooh over here. On morning, Addie and I were watching the episode where Lumpy was learning to ski. It was very cute (the imaginations of the creators just astounds me at times), but one part bothered me. Lumpy thought that his scarf was what was helping him ski. As he went down the hill one final time, the scarf came off. He began to sway and lose his balance as he raced down the hill. Darby (she has taken over Christopher Robin's role in the show) called out, "You can do it! Just believe in yourself!" I turned to Addie and said, "If he believes in himself he will never make it down the hill!" We hear it all the time from many different directions. "Believe in yourself." However, what good is that going to do if someone has a low self esteem. They will be believeing in someone who feels inferior to those around them. By believeing in Jesus and His love for us, we can boldly state that our confidence is a direct result of knowing Who our confidence comes from.

My favorite verse has always been, "But by the grace of God I am what I am and His grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain, yet I labor more abundantly than they all, yet not I but the grace of God which was with me." 1 Corinthians 15:10. It has always been a great reminder to me that anything I do or accomplish, I can only do it because of the Grace of God which is with me. I guess you can call it a grounding verse- one that keeps me from getting a big head and floating away.

For those who think that being bold is just something you can't do, remember God's command to Joshua when he was given the great responsibility of leading the Israelites. Joshua 1:9- Have I not commanded you? Be strong, vigorous, and very courageous. Be not afraid, neither be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. God commands us to be strong, vigorous, and courageous. And we can be because He is always standing beside us or holding us during the rough times.

As a Book Club Update regarding this topic of boldness, I had mentioned not like confrontation and my dilemma about Addie in the nursery. On Tuesday while I was spending the day (having a great time, I might add!) with Cathy and Kennie (who Addie did not want to leave!) I got a call from the Children's pastor regarding working in the nursery. Okay, so I could not hide from the situation anymore. Because I had let the message go to voice mail, I needed to call yesterday and explain (I really don't like making those types of calls!). I spoke with the Children's Minister, who was very understanding and is one of the sweetest, soft-spoken people I have ever met. I explained our situation and our decision to keep Addie in the service with us. She understood, and we talked about the timeline for Addie to move up into the next class. I told her that when Addie had moved up, we would put her in the class and I would be there to help out whenever they needed me (like I had been doing in her "current" class. Our conversation ended well, and I believe a good relationship has been established.

This week, remember to be bold and confident in Christ. And don't forget to read Kristi's thoughts on today's chapter. See you Saturday!

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Thirteen

This week's chapter was entitled "The Relationship Between Stress and Fear". Again it was very insightful. As always, quotes from the book are in bold type. Don't forget to check out Kristi's blog to see her thoughts and insights on this chapter.

Everything is so fast-paced, loud, and excessive that our mental, emotional, and physical systems stay on overload. When I was single and teaching, I kept myself very busy by being involved in many ministries at our church. One reason was that I didn't want time to sit and think about how I wanted a husband and family of my own (I was the oldest person in my Sunday school class and I was still single, while those younger than me were married and having children), so I overloaded myself.

I was teaching full-time, coaching our school's cheer leading team (I have absolutely no physical coordination so that was interesting. I was basically the adult supervision while my girls who actually knew what they were doing coached our squad.), gave piano lessons, was involved in our church's bell choir and bell ensemble, praise team, special music singing solos, choir and every production our choir put on, small ensemble, a youth leader, and ran our school's after school detention. Needless to say, I burned myself out.

One day, I felt God asking me how I was supposed to fit the man He wanted to give me into my schedule. I told Him that when He gave me the man, I would drop the schedule. I felt God saying, "Drop the schedule and I'll give you the man." Within a year of backing off on a few of the items on my plate, God brought Brian into my life. Eventually, most of the items were dropped off of my plate and at this point, I don't have any of them.

During my pregnancy, I had promised my students that I would bring Addie in to see them on the last day of school. As I was making my rounds that day, one of the parents came up to me and said, "You look so happy! You always looked happy, but you look even happier. What happened?" By the grace of God, I was able to eliminate stress (teaching can be a very stressful job!). When dinner is your only deadline, stress is pretty much a non issue.

I don't believe that what we do creates stress nearly as much as how we do it. This is very true. Once I was married, teaching, detentions, and musically related ministries were the only extra things I was doing. However, I was able to manage them fairly well because of how I did them.

Because I am a planner (bet you didn't know that), I would have my lesson plans done at least a month, sometimes two, in advance. My breaks were spent in ways that would ensure that I was prepared. I had folders for each day of the week on my wall where I would put all of the photocopies for the week. If I needed a sub, I didn't have to worry about them having to go run something off. All classroom preparation was done a week in advance. My students were on a schedule (some things never change) and after they had taken a test, I would immediately grade it and record their grade. Every week, I would enter their grades into a grading program I had at home that would automatically average their grades so when report card time came, I didn't have to worry about anything. After school before I went home, I would put my teacher's guides, any photocopies, and lessons in order in my podium so the next day I wasn't having to run around the room trying to pull things together.

I would clean my house in the mornings before I went to work (woke up at 5:30 a.m.) so that when I left work I could come home, have a restful time waiting for Brian, get dinner ready, and enjoy my evening with Brian. My stress did not come from my home or my actual job. Stress for me usually came from things out of my control- like people.


If you are stressed out all the time something will have to change in order for the stress to be relieved. I love this quote, but at the same time it makes me nervous because I don't like change too much. During my first year of teaching, I worked nonstop, even on the weekends. I brought work home all of the time, and I really began wondering if teaching was for me. Something had to be done, so I went to the classrooms of teachers that had been teaching far longer than I had, and after school I would pick their brain about everything. I would then go back to my classroom and change things in my schedule, lesson plans, grading methods, etc. to see if the things I had learned would work for me. Over the first two to three years of teaching I was able to eliminate a great deal of stress (those were also the years I was able to stay at work until 6:30 in the evenings and longer to put in the time needed for change to happen). By the time I began dating Brian, by the grace of God, I had a good handle on teaching, who I was as a teacher, and where I wanted to take my students educationally. I was also able to leave work around 3:30-4:00.

Now that I am a stay-at-home wife and mother, I am always looking for new ways to do the things that I do everyday. Things that will help me do my job more efficiently, methods that will benefit not just me but my family as well, tricks and tips in home care and child care, and ways that I build my marriage. I am willing to change things in my home, methods, and ways so that I can relieve stresses that can pop up once in a while.

One thing I have been working on in my own life is sitting and doing nothing (don't laugh, that is actually really hard for me to do, just ask Brian). I have been taking Addie girl outside every day if it isn't raining. I take a blanket, juice box, water bottle, cell phone, bubbles, a ball, and, for some reason, Elmo has to come too...and I just sit there and enjoy the great outdoors. I watch Addie run all over the yard. I blow bubbles for her. I kick the ball around with her. We pick flowers- okay they are weeds but we call them flowers. Yesterday I was tempted to pull up some of my dead plants, but I had to remind myself that I was not out there to work. I needed to be still.

Is there anything that you can change in order to relieve yourself of some of your stress? Delegating some of the responsibilities you have? Saying "No" to another item for your plate? Changing the way you are doing somethings? Ask God to give you wisdom in the things that need to change in your life so that your days are peaceful. Remember the saying, "If Mama ain't happy ain't nobody happy!" If you are stressed, frazzled, coming undone at the seams, that is what your husband will come home to and what your children will have to deal with. Our homes need to be places of rest and peace, and it starts with us.

There are only four more chapters left in The Confident Woman for us to go through. As soon as we have a new book, we will let you know in case you would like to read that one along with us as well.

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Twelve

Last week our chapter was entitled "The Anatomy of Fear" and this week is "Fear Has Relatives" (as if fear alone was not bad enough!). I found this chapter very eye opening, and it made me realize that the words I use can either develop fear or boldness in my daughter because she will learn them from me.

Fear is the parent and worry and dread are the children. How true that is! So many times we worry about or dread something and it leads directly to fear. Many times the thing we are afraid of is absolutely nothing.

As a 6 to 9 month old, I refused to give Addie any Cheerios, baby puffs, or anything that she could put into her mouth. I worried (and even verbalized) that I didn't want her to choke on anything that would not dissolve instantly. Because we live in an area that GPS systems are still giving incorrect directions to get to, I was afraid that if she did choke, no one would get here in time to help me. Therefore, I allowed fear and worry to paralyze me.

Parents, teachers and other role models can teach children how to fear or they can teach them to be bold. A mother who is fearful herself will transmit that fear to her children. As Addie got older, and I began to realize that she should be eating on her own and she should be eating table food, I noticed that she seemed to have a fear of eating. Where did she pick up this fear of food? From me.

Babies don't worry and they don't dread things, so why do adults? Babies think about the here and now. Adults over think the future. Had I given Addie a Cheerio, she would not have thought about what could happen if she didn't chew this little Cheerio the right way. She would have chewed to her heart's content and then reached for another. I took the thought of a Cheerio in the hands of a toddler all the way to the faulty map in the GPS system of an ambulance that has never once had to come to our home!

Worry is the end of faith and faith is the end of worry. I chose to let worry and dread (of something that never actually happened) control what faith should have had control over. If I had had faith that my child could eat and would survive eating a Cheerio the same way that I and most children had, worry would never have won.

Faith is the end of worry. When we have faith that God will provide and protect, worry cannot rear its ugly head when the bills come due, when an unexpected emergency comes up, when the government makes decisions we may not approve of, when we get a troubling phone call, or when the doctor come in with bad news.

It is useless to worry about anything and doubly useless to worry about something that is over and done with and that nothing can be done about. Praise God, I have gotten over my fear of Addie eating (I think at this point I'm at the other end of the spectrum!). I know I cannot go back in time. I have to start from where we are right now. Addie is now served what we are eating (we are still working on her trying what is put in front of her, it will come in time). Her repertoire of foods is growing every week, and that is exciting for me to see.

Lack of knowledge causes fear and knowledge removes it. I was unsure of what to expect with Addie from the moment she arrived. Yes, my mother prepared me as much as possible before her death, but there is a difference in having head knowledge and hands on knowledge about a situation. I now have that hands on knowledge because of what I have learned thus far in raising Addie. As we begin thinking about adding to our family, I have no worries about feeding the next blessing. I have a better understanding of what to do right from the start. I understand that these little people are capable of much more than we realize. Fear will not be a welcome visitor. In fact, it no longer is.

Don't forget to check out Kristi's Book Club post over at Team Mac.

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Eleven

This week's chapter "The Anatomy of Fear" dealt with fear and how to handle it. Don't forget to check out Kristi's blog to see her thoughts on this week's chapter.

How easy is it for us to confront our fears? Before we even consider the answer to this question, let's break down two words in it: confront and fear. These two little words carry so much weight and can actually control a persons thinking and actions.

I am by no means a confrontational person. I try to avoid confronting at all costs. People offend me, say things that are hurtful, etc., I just swallow, smile, and keep going. Confronting means having to stand up for your side, and then what if I am not prepared enough to make my case?

Two Sunday's ago, Addie caught a cold from the church nursery. I was so ready (in my head) to write a letter to the children's pastor explaining that I would not be putting Addie in the nursery anymore because the "no sick children allowed" policy is not being enforced. Did I write the letter? No. Will I write the letter? Probably not. Will Addie go back to the nursery? Maybe (the doctor, Brian, and some dear friends have brought up the fact that catching colds now will build her immunity for later). But I knew that by writing a letter (easier for me to do than actually confront someone in person), I would be initiating a confrontation, and I don't think I am ready for that.

Fear has been described many times as False Evidence Appearing Real. It is something that we think or see and allow to build a stronghold in our hearts, thoughts, and mind. Many times our fears have no foundation. Sometimes they do. But when we confront our fears they never seem to be as large as we imagined them to be. Joyce told the story of a village whose people for many generations would not venture to the top of a hill or mountain because of a monster that lived there. The parents always told their children to stay away from the mountain because of this great monster who lived there. One day a group of young people decided to go up the mountain to see this monster that had held their village in fear for all of these generations. As they got closer they began to smell a horrible stench and hear the groans from the monster. All except for one of the young men decided to flee. The young man continued climbing until he found the monster. The closer he came the smaller the monster became and the squeaker its voice was. When the young man finally approach the monster he picked it up, held it in one hand and asked what its name was. "Fear," was the reply. How true is that!

Confronting a fear is actually something I have been doing in my own little world quite a bit this week. I want to protect Addie from everything: falling, catching another cold from the nursery, scratching her knee, making sure she is eating enough. Because of the virus she had been fighting this week and last week, she had completely lost her appetite. Now here is where the fear came in. What if she is not getting enough nutrients? How is she going to get better if she isn't putting anything into her system to build her immunity? We finally got her to eat mac n' cheese, now she doesn't want to eat! Will she ever eat again? I actually got a grey hair this week (and promptly pulled it out)! Why? Because I allowed fear to take over my thoughts.

I took Addie to the doctor on Tuesday. She checked Addie, said that she was fine, and said that the virus was just taking its course. I then told her about Addie's eating (or lack of). She smiled and said, "That is very normal at this age." What!!! She then went on to say that I was just to sit Addie down for breakfast, lunch, and dinner and put her plate in front of her. If she doesn't eat, she doesn't eat. But she is not to be offered any kind of snacks or food until the next meal. Juice heavily diluted with water can be given in between...and pray. God sent to me to Addie's doctor so that He could tell me once again that I could confront this fear and concern with prayer.

Wednesday morning was when I was faced with my first challenge of facing my fear head on or caving so my child wouldn't "starve". I offered her cottage cheese for breakfast. She wanted nothing to do with it. Rather than give her a bottle of milk to hold her over until lunch, I followed the doctor's directions, gave her a small amount of diluted grape juice with her vitamins mixed in, and prayed. By lunch time, that little tummy wanted something in it very badly. She ate a handful of grapes. My friend Victoria (hey, buddy!) came over for a visit yesterday, and while we were eating, Addie came up and ate about 1/4 of my sandwich and some more grapes! The eating will come, but I have to give my fears over to the Lord and trust Him to work with both of us.

Joyce also says that we need to "do it afraid". What does that mean? If there is something that you need or want to do but are afraid to do (like my letter), we need to "do it afraid". We need to do it regardless of how we feel.

We have mentioned child birth before, but this came to mind for me when I read this phrase. Everyone has heard the horror stories of labors that went for days. When you approach your first child delivery, it is a fear that you have. How will it feel? How much pain will I actually endure? I had that thought while sitting at the end of the school day during car pick-up. It suddenly hit me- this baby is going to come out! Not at that moment, but at some time in the future. Those thoughts of child birth came flooding to me as students were telling me good-bye, as parents were coming and rubbing the belly, as teachers were making sure that I was comfortable. But God used those same children to tell me something that calmed my fears instantly. All of these children had been born in one of two ways, and their mothers had survived. I would survive, too. Suddenly, giving birth wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. And it wasn't! Regardless of whether or not my fear went away, I was still going to have to go through the process of delivery, and I would have to do it afraid.

Everyone faces a different type or kind of fear (Joyce actually calls it "Variety"). Yours are probably different than mine. With God's help we can face our fears boldly with confidence. Think about it, if we are told in God's Word to approach the Throne of Grace boldly with confidence, then how can we approach our fears with anything less? Certainly they are not greater than the One who sits on the Throne of Grace!

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Ten

This week in The Confident Woman, Joyce gave 10 steps towards independence. This independence is more of an independence from people and realizing our dependence on God. I will be sharing these 10 steps with you and also my take on the steps, personal examples, or ways to apply them. As always, check out Kristi's blog to see her insights on this chapter.

1. Break away from other people's expectations. This was a huge one for me. My father used to have a saying for us growing up. "Others can. You cannot." Because my father was in full time ministry for a time, there were certain realistic (behavior becoming a follower of Christ) and unrealistic expectations put on us by those around us. I distinctly remember talking in the lobby with one of the young men from my high school Sunday school class- nothing serious, just as Sunday school/youth group friends. There were two women standing nearby who obviously thought I couldn't hear them say, "Suzette is talking to a boy!" I wanted to cry and laugh because they were making something that their daughters did all the time into something that was taboo for me. I can tell you, for a while, I didn't talk to any of my guy Sunday School friends in the lobby.

Even with Addie, although I am blessed to have family that generally understand what and how we are trying to teach her, there are still times when a rule or conviction of ours may not be understood by someone. We need to remember that we ultimately do not answer to people in the raising of our children, but to God. We need to stop trying to be people pleasers (which usually leads to stress and frustration because it is impossible to please everyone) and become pleasers of God.

I also believe that breaking away from the expectations of others must be done with humility. Having an attitude of pride can be just as harmful to our spirits as living up to the expectations of others.

2. Learn to cope with criticism. Criticism is all around us. For some, it is the only way they know how to have a conversation. They may not mean to criticize you, but the very tone of the words drips with criticism. We need to develop thick skin in order to hear criticism and not have it affect our confidence. Criticism can be very useful to us if we are willing to apply it as a tool. It can help us to make those necessary changes in our lives that we have been putting off.

3. Do something outrageous. Okay, I am very happy to stay at home and do my thing here with my little family around me. Yes, I like to go out with my family, but outrageous! Doing the outrageous means that I have to take a step out of my comfort zone and that is very uncomfortable. Yes, talking about stepping out of the comfort zone sounds exciting when we talk about it, but actually doing it! I am the teenager who waited until the week before I began college to get my license because I had to commute an hour each way! I am the young married woman who was thrilled to marry the love of her life, and was also happy that Mom and Dad temporarily moved a few blocks down the road from us while their house was being built! For me, right now, outrageous is getting about three inches cut off of the length of my hair! However, if we never do anything outrageous, we become stagnant as people and that is a recipe for a disastrous life.

4. Have your own opinion. Not the opinion of your friends and family, but your very own opinions that you have thought out and processed for yourself. Long ago and far away, it was outrageous for women to have opinions on religion, politics, society, personal beliefs, finances, etc. However, we no longer live in those times. It is crucial for us to form our own opinions. Do not just rely on what a commentator says the interpretation of Scripture is. Read it for yourself, pray and ask God to open your eyes to the insights he wants to show you, and let God form the opinion in your heart and mind. Yes, gather as much input as you can, but don't allow your opinion to be a copycat version of someone else's opinion. Especially in the world and country we live in today. It is important to view all sides of the arguments being presented and form your own opinion, not just taking what is being said and going along with it.

Two of my favorite female TV personalities are Judge Judy and Megyn Kelly from Fox News. These are two women who have been blessed with incredible intelligence, have formed their own opinions, and are not afraid to speak their minds. Yes, in our relationships and with people we come across in our days, we need to show tact, kindness, and love, but we also need to make sure that we do not cower in the face of differing opinions. We need to have an opinion and not be afraid to share it...with tact.

5. Refuse to pretend. Pretending can be detrimental to us rather than be a help. By pretending, we are outwardly showing an agreement of or to something that inwardly eats us up. It can create bitterness inside of us that will only affect us.

6. Say "No" when you need to. There are many ways to say "no". "I'm sorry but...", "Thank you for the invite but...", "I would love to help out but...", or "No, I am not able to at this time." There are times when we need to say no. Don't allow it to become a habit, but do become familiar with the word so when it is necessary, you can say "No" kindly and with confidence.

7. Spend time with the people who give you space to be yourself. We need to surround ourselves with people who free us to be who God created us to be. These are the people who do not hold us to their expectations. I have found that my closest friends (you know who you are) are the ones that I can be myself with. I do not have to conform to what they want me to be, they do not try to control who I am or what I do, and we can have a great time together being ourselves.

My friends vary in many ways. Some have children, some do not. Some are single, some are married. Some live close by, some live across the country. Some are stay-at-home moms, some work. I can text them when I need prayer or just to say hi and share what our babies are doing at any given moment. We can scrapbook side by side and share ideas even though our styles differ. I can be Suzette-the-mom-that-is-trying-to-get-it-right-but-I-need-your-advice-on.... I can Facebook them to "watch" a ballgame across the miles, and laugh and cheer in statuses and comments when our team wins the game. We can sit in my living room on the floor and have a great conversation. These are my friends. The ones who let me be Suzette and who can also be themselves. I love you guys.

8. Watch children. Children are great to watch. They just don't care who is watching. They are going to be themselves. I have mentioned before that I admire the confidence that I see in Addie. She began a cold on Tuesday night (guess where she caught it from) and all day yesterday, we dealt with a runny nose. Despite the runny nose, when Brian and Faye came home, she just assumed they wanted hugs from her. When Grandpa came over, she just figured that he came to see her. When people come over, she assumes they are there to see her toys, and she brings them out for them to play with. When the phone rings, she just assumes that someone is calling for her. A bad hair day does not affect her feeling of confidence. A spot on her outfit (now that she is feeding herself) doesn't mean she has to reevaluate her sense of value. Her tummy sticking out does not mean that she needs to find a more figure flattering outfit. Oh, the things we can learn from watching a child!


9. Fight off stagnation. We need chase our ideas, run with the ball, and get out and do. I am always looking for new ways to do the everyday things in our home. Honestly, for many of us, our days look the same. By finding new ways of doing the same old things, we are keeping ourselves from being stagnant, from falling into a rut. As a teacher, we went to a teacher's convention once a year. I always looked forward to these conventions because of the new tricks, tips, and techniques they would share with us on how to be a better teacher. We had already had at least 4 years of college in order to have our positions, but these conferences helped us to keep from being stagnant as teachers. In the same way, as women, wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, aunts, daughters-in-laws, and friends, we need to look for ways to keep our lives from being stagnant. We need to look for ways to better ourselves in the positions that God has called us to. Take a class, read up on a new subject, branch out and begin a new hobby. The possibilities are endless.

10. With God all things are possible. As we begin taking steps towards being confident women, we need to remember that with God all things are possible. We can be confident as women, wives, mothers, students, etc. because God will give us the strength that we need in order to accomplish His work in us. Be confident in that fact.

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Eight

"You husbands, likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered." 1 Peter 3:7
This verse and a clearer understanding of it were basically what this chapter was about. At first, when I read the chapter, I wasn't quite sure how to take it, but as I prayed and thought about it throughout the week, the clearer it became.


Let us be clear. God is not calling women weak. He is telling husbands that they need to live with their wives in an understanding way and to grant her honor. When He says that husbands need to live with us as with a weaker vessel, He is not saying that women are weak. "Weaker" is a word of comparison. The "-er" suffix means that two things are being compared. Therefore, He is comparing us to men in this verse. Of the two, we are the weaker vessel. Not weak, just the weaker of the two. (Please excuse the English grammar lesson...I guess the teacher in me came out)


Now let us look in our kitchen. We have many different kinds of "vessels". In fact, our placement of these vessels shows their strength. Those of us who have children know that we keep our dishes and other fine items up on higher shelves and our pots and pans are kept lower. If little hands get a hold of the pots and pans, it is no big deal.. They were built to withstand high heat and heavier loads. However, if little hands managed to grab our dishes, our dishes could be broken and our children hurt. Yet, even though one vessel would be considered weaker because it could easily broken and the other the stronger vessel, we would not serve our guests using our pots and pans. We would serve them using our dishes. The strength or weakness of the vessel does not determine its usefulness and function. As with women and men. Although we are the weaker vessel, that term does not mean that we are weak.


Throughout the chapter, Joyce continually said that women are not weak. I think she was trying to emphasize that although we are referred to as the weaker vessel, we are not weak as people. God has given women a certain type of strength. The example she gave and the one that first came to mind for me was child bearing. Although my labor was not nearly as bad as I expected it be (five days before I went into labor, an elderly woman from our church told me about her 36 hour excruciatingly painful labor...definitely not edifying!), it was uncomfortable to say the least. In fact, I would tell any first time mother to ignore the horror stories, if you are in the position to control your pain (I did not have any kind of pain medicine until I was forced to stay in bed- 12 hours into my labor. As long as I was up, walking and moving around, I was fine.), it is not that bad. However, I honestly do not know if Brian could handle labor. Just the look on his face during my labor told me that.


God made men and women completely different and with good reason. He gave each of us strengths and weaknesses in order to show us our need for each other. A recent example of the differences between us happened last week. Brian came home from work and I had to tell him the blow by blow of a purchase I had made (no big deal- it was Purex laundry detergent!). I started out by explaining the coupon I had found in the paper (buy one get one free), how I had matched it to store sales (Publix- $4.99 each), how the store offered an additional $1 off coupon for the product, how a woman ahead of me on line in another store had been asked if she had any coupons for her purchases, how she had rolled her eyes and said "No" like it was beneath her to carry a coupon on her person, and how I was thinking the entire time, "Lady, I just bought twice the product you did at a different store for half the price. This store isn't even having a sale on that detergent. You're paying full price for one bottle while I payed less than half for two bottles. Don't look down at coupons!" When I got to the end, Brian just wanted to know how much I had paid ($2 a bottle, my dear)! The rest was excess to him. When I told Faye and my cousin Belinda the story, they were so into the details and even threw in a comment here and there.


Now, think. If we did not have each other, we women would be telling our stories blow by blow and have no time for anything else, and men would only give the facts (boring!). God gave us such different ways of communicating because each is needed in different situations. I'll admit, sometimes I use way too many words to say one simple thing, so God gave me Brian, who gets right to the point. However, when our children are older and want to look back to see a history of our family, if Brian wrote it, it would probably be written out as Born-, Died-, went here, did this, and that is it. The "story way" that I use would fill in the emotions, feelings, and atmosphere missing from a purely factual retelling.


I am so thankful that we serve a God who loves His creation so much. He does not show preferential treatment to one gender or the other. He purposely gave each gender strengths and weaknesses in order for them to need each other. Don't forget to check out Kristi's blog to see her thoughts on this chapter.

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Eight

I apologize that this week's book club post is going to be rather short. Between potty training and preparing for company, a packed weekend last weekend and planning a family birthday party for Addie this weekend, I didn't have time this week for a really in depth post. Don't forget to check out Kristi's blog to see her thoughts on Chapter Eight.

We have all dealt with it. The people who tell us that we can't do something. The ones who tell us that we are too young, too old, not qualified, over qualified, too thin, not thin enough, too ambitious, not ambitious enough, and the list goes on and on. This week's chapter "When the World Says No" was wonderful for reminding me that when God puts a dream in our hearts, it doesn't matter what the world says.

I remember when my mother first began homeschooling us (long before it became a popular thing to do). She was criticized by those around us, especially by believers. She experienced stress and pains in her heart at the time, however, because she and my father felt that God wanted them to home school, they were not going to let outsiders of our home say no to what God had said yes to.

And let us not forget the prophet who God had spoken to to deliver a message to the king and then directly home without stopping along the way to eat. Another prophet, an older one, saw the younger prophet coming and stopped him, inviting the young man to his home to eat. The young prophet said that God had directed him to go straight home and not to stop along the way. The older prophet said that God had also spoken to him and told him to have the young prophet over for a meal (which was a lie). The young prophet disregarded the message that God had spoken directly to him and went along with what the older prophet said. In the middle of the meal, God really did speak to the older prophet and told him to relay to the younger prophet that when he continued on his journey, he would die for disobeying what God had originally commanded him. We need to be sure that we know what God wants us to do, and then we need to stick to His call on our life. If He chooses to change the direction He wants us to go, He will tell us. We also need to prayerfully consider when someone comes to us saying "Thus saith the Lord..." We need to ask the Lord to reveal Himself to us clearly so that we are not led astray by someone else's wishes or wants.

I think my favorite line in the whole chapter was a quote by Adlai Stevenson. "It is not the years in your life, but the life in your years that counts." So many times we look at where we are in life, and we think "I'm too young to do anything that counts," or "I'm too old to make changes in my life." However, the actual number attached to our age is not what matters to God. A willing heart and an available life are all that He needs.

My Aunt Elsa and I have talked many times about age and how tired we are about the stereotypes placed on different ages. Many times people say, "Watch out for those terrible twos!" or people begin saying that their bodies are falling apart because of the age they have hit. Although my aunt would probably not want me to give her age, let's just say you could never guess by looking at her. She refuses to "look" her age by wearing clothes that would cause her to look older. She exercises daily and dresses in flattering styles. She is very involved in the lives of her grandchildren and Addie, and is a part of several ministries at her church. She is making the life in her years count for all that they are worth.

This week, ask God to show you what He wants of you. Don't tell others that this is what you are praying so that if God does choose to use another person, you won't wonder if God is really using them or if they are just saying something because they know you are waiting for a word from God.

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Seven

This week s chapter was all about preparation, but not in the sense that we have been discussing here on the blog. There are many forms of preparation and this chapter really made me think about preparation in the larger sense of the word.

Yes, preparation for a day, a week's meals, and schedule are all so important. As Joyce says, "Preparation equips us to move confidently." On nights when I'm just too tired to make one more move and skip the evening prep, I always regret it in the morning and find myself trying to catch up all day long.

Preparation is needed for just about every aspect of our lives. People depend on us to be prepared, and they do not generally look favorably on us when we aren't. Yes, sometimes there are circumstances beyond our control that interfere with our preparation, but for the most part, we have plenty of time for advanced preparation.
I remember, as a teacher, giving out test schedules two weeks in advance, writing upcoming tests on the board, making sure that my students wrote test dates in their planners, and so on. In class, before each lesson we would have a review of the material before adding on to the lesson with that day's material. I wanted my students to be prepared as much as I could possibly make them. However, there was some preparation for the tests that had to be done on their own. However, with all of that preparation in class, there was always that student who would do poorly, and then say, "I couldn't study last night because..." The excuse was not taken, because of all of the preparation previously done in class and because the student had plenty of previous knowledge of the upcoming test.
I also did not appreciate the students who did well, and then said, "And I didn't even study!" Ahhhhhh! Not the right thing to tell a teacher! I would then remind them of all of the in class review that we did so they could see that, yes, they had studied and were prepared.
As you all know, my sister is getting married soon. Between now and then, she is preparing. Getting dresses, flowers, venues, photographers, etc. She is not waiting for the last possible moment to get things in place, she is preparing so that on her special day (Jim's, too!), she won't have anything to think or worry about. She can be relaxed and confident knowing that everything is in order.Joyce takes the idea of preparation a step farther and reminds us that we need to prepare ourselves for the ministry or vocational position that God wants to use us in. In some cases that means study- taking an class here and there to further our knowledge and abilities to make us as useful as possible.
Another way to prepare ourselves is to spend time with the Lord in daily prayer. If Jesus felt the need to spend time praying (and He was God), then we absolutely need to spend time in prayer preparing our hearts and minds for the duties of the day and for whatever else may come our way. Nothing can be done apart for the Lord, so we must ask Him daily for help and guidance to accomplish the most where He has us.



For some of us, our ministry right now is our home. So how can we prepare for that? As a young girl, my mother used to tell us that our room was our house, and that we needed to take care of it the way we would a home. That was preparation on a small level for us. Helping with the laundry, dishes, house cleaning, yard work (my least favorite!) were all ways that my mother helped to prepare us to have homes of our own one day. Even now, we are preparing Addie in the same ways. The other night, while Grandma and Grandpops were watching her, she decided to help Grandma put the washed clothes into the dryer (complete with her little sound effects). My mom-in-law was very surprised since she didn't realize that we have been teaching her about laundry.

Think about where you are or where you believe God wants you to be, and then ask God to begin to prepare you for that. Just be prepared. Sometimes preparation is uncomfortable, but the final outcome is definitely worth it.

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter Six

It is here again! Book Club Thursday! Don't forget to check out Kristi's blog for her thoughts on today's chapter. As always, Joyce's words are in bold type.


Self-doubt and confidence don't work together, they work against each other. The woman who doubts herself is unstable in everything she does, feels, and decides. It is so important that as women of God, we are walking with Him and in Him so that we can have confidence with each step that we take. For some, we are the only Bible that they may see. If we are walking in self-doubt, we will not be a very good witness of the love of an awesome God.

A confident woman is not afraid of being wrong! So many times, we feel that being wrong makes us look less than what we are. Being wrong can be a major blow to our confidence level...and pride. However, true confidence says, "I am wrong. So what can I do to make it right?" or "Okay, I'm wrong. I don't know as much about this area as I thought I did. Can you teach me how I can do this?" A prideful person thinks they are never wrong, even though they usually are. A confident person knows they make mistakes and is willing to learn from them and fix them.

YOU DON"T HAVE TO FEEL CONFIDENT TO BE CONFIDENT! I have also learned that I don't have to feel confident to present myself in a confident manner. We need to believe God's Word more than we believe our feelings. Before Brian and I began dating, we were just friends from Sunday School and church, and apparently he was very intimidated by me. Why? According to him I was very confident. What he did not know was that I was probably the least confident person in our Sunday school class. I may have come across confidently, but inside I was very timid and shy, yet I did not present myself that way to others. Yes, my confidence level did grow because as you carry yourself, so you become. My confidence level really jumped when this really cute guy named Brian started showing an interest in me (even family members began to notice). I completely agree with Joyce, you don't have to feel confident to be confident.

Don't be afraid of making mistakes. Instead of allowing mistakes to make you feel guilty and bad, let them be your teacher and always remember that just because you make a mistake does not mean you are a mistake. To grow we must step out and try things. We learn what works and what doesn't. Learning from first-hand experience is a much better teacher than a textbook. So many times we are afraid to try something new because we are afraid of making mistakes, or we beat ourselves up because of the mistakes that we make along the way. Hind sight is always 20/20. And others looking into your situation from a completely different place will always see what you could have/ should have done differently (forgetting that they are not actually walking in your shoes and don't know the full situation and all of the details). Remember that God loves you, mistakes and all. Even the disciples that He hand picked to follow Him closely here on earth were flawed human beings. Two had absolutely no patience (James and John-the Sons of Thunder), one was a former tax collector (Matthew- tax collectors had bad reputations), one could not open his mouth without saying the wrong thing (Simon Peter), and one was a traitor and a thief (Judas Iscariot). I had read once that in Bible times, the Rabbis would choose a select handful of young boys who would be their disciples. They would live with and train under their assigned Rabbi until they were old enough to take on the responsibility of Rabbi themselves. Those who were not chosen grew up to have "regular" jobs. The disciples that Jesus chose to be His twelve were, in essence, the cast-offs, the mistakes. Jesus can do more with "mistakes" than we give him credit for.

On a completely separate note, I don't think as parents, we should tell our children that they were an accident (mistake). We had the privilege of planning our pregnancy of Addie, but I know of many who didn't (many godly young couples who have chosen to call their children a surprise gift rather than an accident). The Bible calls our children gifts, rewards, and blessings. Rather than call them an accident and have that word etched into their hearts and attitudes for the rest of their lives, call them what God calls them. Children will live up to what they are called.

Names also play a big part in our self worth, value, and attitude. Here are a few names that I am personally in contact with, and how they reflect the nature of that person.

• Ana (my mother's name)- from the Hebrew meaning 'God has favored me'. She has a spirited and highly emotional personality with a great sense of curiosity. (taken from the magnet hanging on my refrigerator with her picture) Couldn't have put it better myself.
• Fred (my dad)- peaceful ruler. He is a very nonconfrontational person.
• Faye Ellen (my sister)- bright light. Anyone who know her, know that she lights up a room. She has a happy personality. She is also not ashamed of the gospel and has always been willing to share with others about her relationship with Christ.
• Brian (the love of my life)- strength and honor. True story: During my single days, as I was praying Proverbs 31 over my life, I asked God to clothe me in strength and honor like verse 25 says. Only God knew at that time that Brian was for me (since I was not yet interested in him) and what his name meant. Brian definitely lives up to his name.
• Adelaide- Noble one. She carries herself with confidence. Family does tend to treat her like royalty (especially GrandTiti and Cousin Belinda- in their minds she can do no wrong...).
• Suzette Michelle- Lily of the valley; rose; and who is like the Lord (hence my call name on here- godlyrose).

I know I'm off the beaten path here, but this point really hit me hard when I read this chapter. The words we put into our children's lives will greatly impact their self worth and value.
God wants to give you favor-kindness that you don't deserve. Confess several times a day that you have favor with God and man. Yes, God's favor is an exciting way to live. Resist and refuse to let doubt convince you that good things won't happen to you and your family; aggressively expect good things. Ask God to give you divine supernatural favor and then expect to see it in your life, daily. On my way to work every day, I used to pray that God would give me favor in the eyes of my boss, co-workers, students, and their parents. God answered that prayer and I thoroughly enjoyed my ten years at SHCA and my one year at TCS.
My mother was highly favored. People used to tell her that everything just seemed to go her way. It wasn't that. She would just ask God on a daily basis to show her His favor. She also behaved in a way that pleased God. She and my father built the house that they were living in. The builder himself was going through a divorce and bankruptcy at the time. My mother would drive out to the house on a daily basis to check up on things. She spoke to the builder and encouraged him. She would take sandwiches and soda to the construction workers. Not only was her house the only one completed by the builder, but it had been given many upgrades free of charge. My parents paid for a two paned window to be put in the breakfast nook looking out onto the pool. The workers accidentally put in a large one paned window instead. When my parents alerted them to this (my mother had already laid hands on the window and asked God to let her keep it), the builder said that it would be too much trouble to take the window out, they could keep the window without paying for the upgrade. After taking subs to the workers one day, one worker asked my mother if she preferred arches as opposed to the standard style she was supposed to receive. My mother (who really should have been an designer) said she loved arches. The worker gave her arches for no additional charge.
If you have made your mind up that you intend to enjoy the best life God has for you then you must realize that it begins with you. See yourself the way God sees you, not the way the world sees you or even the way you see yourself. I love this! We all want to change something in our lives- weight (I guess the double fudge brownie "i-coo" (ice cream) that Addie and I shared last night wasn't a good idea), shape, organizational skills, financial situation, family relationships, educational skills, etc. There is only one person (besides God) who can actually get the ball rolling in any of these departments. You! When we have the image in our mind of what God has for us, we need to take the steps, or better yet jump in with both feet, to get it done. No one else can do it for us. I don't know about you, but I'm jumping.

Book Club Thursday- Chapter 5

This chapter covered my absolute favorite passage of Scripture, Proverbs 31:10-31. When I was blogging on Yahoo 360, I did a series based on Proverbs 31, so needless to say, I was very interested to see what Miss Joyce (as I refer to her when Addie and I sit down to watch her daily program) had to say. It was very insightful since she approached certain passage from angles I had never heard of. Don't forget to check out Kristi's blog to read her insights. As always, Miss Joyce's words are printed in bold type.

The woman in question is such a famous confident woman and yet her name is not mentioned. I am certain this is because God wants each woman to be able to insert her name in this woman's story. Okay, Ladies, be honest. As much as we all admire Mrs. Proverbs 31, she can be a bit intimidating. She is amazing! She does it all! However, I never thought about the reason behind her name not being given. Now I realize that this passage is a mother describing to her son the kind of woman he should be looking for, but isn't it wonderful that God in His love and mercy has given us each the opportunity to have our name inserted here? As a young girl growing up, Mrs. Proverbs 31 was the woman that my mother taught us to be like. We even memorized the entire passage over a period of 21 weeks when we were teenage girls. Why? Because when we went about our daily chores, my mother wanted us to remember the kind of woman that belonged in a palace. A hard worker, a go-getter, a sewer, a gardener (my least favorite aspect of this passage), a shopper (with integrity!), a loving wife and mother, a cook, and an honorable woman. She is still the woman (besides my own mother) that I try every day to model myself to be like. Do I fall short of my aim? Oh, yes. But am I discouraged by it? Absolutely not! I just get up the next day and try a little harder with God's help. It is a process and an adventure, and I absolutely love both.

She also has a plan for the day. Have a plan and work your plan. If we do what we can do, God will always do what we cannot do. Okay, you know I loved this phrase. Having a plan is so important to accomplishing your day to day and long term goals.

I want to encourage you to take charge of your life. A great confidence booster is to feel that you are doing with your life what you know you should be doing, rather than wasting it being disorganized and vague. I absolutely love the version of the passage the Joyce included in this section. I am going to repeat it here. It really needs no further explanation. I think she uses the Life Application Version.

Ephesians 5:14-17 Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise [sensible, intelligent people]. Making the very most of the time[buying up each opportunity], because the days are evil. Therefore do not be vague and thoughtless and foolish, but understanding and firmly grasping what the will of the Lord is.

She considers her present duties and is careful not to neglect them by taking on new ones. In other words she seriously thinks about what she is about to do and does not act emotionally without forethought. A sure way to lose your confidence is to have so much to do that you are not doing any of it well. I believe that being fruitful makes one confident. Everyone has the same amount of it (time) and yet some do so many things with theirs while others do nothing. One of my pet peeves is when people tell me that I have too much time on my hands because of all of the things I do throughout my day, from chores to things I enjoy doing. It is not a matter of having too much time, it is a matter of how you use the time that God has given you. By taking care of responsibilities and not procrastinating, you have more time to do other things. This is something I learned from my mother. She never sat still! She was always doing something and people were always amazed with how much she managed to do in short periods of time. For example, in one summer, she redecorated our former church's nursery, school office, church office, and pastor's office, plus she still had dinner on the table for Dad and Faye, house cleaned, laundry done, and her garden was amazing (I did not inherit her green thumb)! How? Because she took advantage of every second that God gave her.

When people are doing something better than we are, we should not reject them- we should be smart enough to learn from them. Another thing I learned from my mother, if you see someone with a gift, learn from them. When we were younger, a woman in our church knew how to bake the most amazing bread. Mom asked her if she would be willing to teach the three of us (Mom, Faye, and me) how to make bread. We need to be humble enough to recognize the gifts in others and then have a teachable spirit to learn from them.

One of the things you can do as a confident woman is apply the blood of Jesus Christ by faith to your household. On a daily basis, we need to pray for our homes, marriages, spouses, children, and families. We live in an evil world, and the blood of Jesus is the only true source of protection that we have.

Make a decision to be the kind of wife that will cause others to believe your husband is blessed because he has you. This is my daily goal. Do you remember when you were first married (those of you who are married)? Oh, you were so excited to do special little things for your husband! We need to make sure that we continue to do the special little things for our spouses. Sometimes those little things show just how much they are loved and needed. And our husbands need to know that we appreciate them for more than just the paycheck they bring home every week. They need to know that they are loved for the men that God has made them to be.

As I said before, I loved this chapter. If you haven't read it before or haven't read it in a long time, I would encourage you to read Proverbs 31:10-31. And don't forget to insert your name in the blanks!

Book Club Thursday The Confident Woman Chapter 4

I really enjoyed this chapter. I love anything that shows you step by step how to accomplish a goal. This chapter gave "The Seven Secrets of a Confident Woman" in such a way that I was both convicted and encouraged. Don't forget to visit Kristi's blog to read her thoughts on this week's chapter. As always, direct quotes from the book are in bold type.

Secret #1- A confident woman knows that she is loved. It is a feeling we all want to know, that we are loved for who we are. As daughters of our Heavenly Father, we have been given the greatest love imaginable and we need to share that love with others. I think that a confident women knows how to give love as well. Not just when she feels loved, but at all times.

Don't just decide what social group you want to be a part of and then try to get into it. Instead, follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in choosing with whom you want to associate closely. Ahem, boy does this take me back to junior high and high school youth group! You know the girls that everyone flocks to, who always wear just the right outfits, don't seem to have a care in the world. Needless to say, I was never part of that group. I am so thankful for a mother who taught me that to not be a part of the "cool" group was a good thing. She taught me to let God choose my friends for me. I have continued to this day to let God pick my friends, and I have never been disappointed. No, my circle of friends is not very big, but the friends that make up my circle are very dear and precious to me, and they have been blessings to me spiritually and emotionally.

Secret #2- A confident woman refuses to live in fear... The Bible says in Hebrews 10:38 that we are to live by faith and not draw back in fear- and if we do draw back in fear, God's soul has no delight in us...We should do everything in a spirit of faith....When a person begins to walk in faith, Satan immediately tries to hinder her through many things, including fear...To "do it afraid" means to feel the fear and do what you believe you should do anyway....Learn to live beyond your feelings. Okay, let's be completely honest here. It is so easy to live by faith when you can see where your foot will land when you take that first step. It is so easy to tell someone else who is going to take that step, "Just have faith that God will walk you through", but when it is our turn, don't you dare tell us anything! This is a constant area of work for me. As a "control-oriented person" (to put it sweetly), I like having a plan and knowing what will happen next. I believe in schedules and planning (I used to have my lesson plans done at least a month, sometimes two, in advance). Sometimes, God purposely steps into our schedules and plans in order to teach us faith and trust (Mental note: remember that, Suzette).

Secret #3- A confident woman is positive. Fear is the dark room where all your negatives are developed. When encouraged to think positively, people often retort, "That is not reality." But the truth is that positive thinking can change your current reality. Why do people assume that being negative is more realistic than being positive? Thinking negatively makes you miserable.Thinking negatively prevents you from being aggressive, bold, and confident. I like to think of myself as being a positive person, but so often "reality" gets in my way. So many times, when we are talking about the blessings of God in our lives to others or the advances that our children are making spiritually, mentally, emotionally, verbally, academically, or however else they are growing, there are always one or two people with that wet blanket handy and ready to throw it on you with their little dose of "reality". Regardless of what "reality" others try to drown us in, we need to press forward in a positive spirit, believing that God can turn our positive belief into our reality.

Secret #4- A confident woman recovers from setbacks. A person is not a failure because she tried some things that did not work out. She fails only when she stops trying. Get your life out of "park," and get moving in some direction. Not letting the past dictate your future is part of the confident lifestyle. Hindsight is 20/20. Unfortunately, we do not have the benefit of hindsight while we are walking through our lives. We are bound to have a few missteps. However, we cannot allow our mistakes to keep us in a hilding pattern. We must forget what lies behind and press forward to what lies ahead. We aren't failures for attempting and falling, we are failures for attempting, falling, and not getting back up.

Secret #5- A confident woman avoids comparisons. I believe it is insulting to our Maker (God) when we compare ourselves with others and desire to be what they are. I encourage you to be content with who you are. Need I say more?

Secret #6 A confident woman takes action. Making mistakes is not the end of the world. So search your heart and ask yourself what you believe God wants you to do- and then do it. As confident women, we need to be proactive. What gifts has God given me? How can I best use these gifts and abilities? What more can I do with these gifts and abilities? This is where I am right now. And when you ask God for the answer to these questions, He gives them to you. I can't tell you how many sleepless nights I have had as idea after idea runs through my mind.

Secret #7- A confident woman does not live in "if only," and "what if." Don't live in the tyranny of "if only." If we will just give God what we have, He will use it and give us back more than we had to begin with. "If only" is a thief of what could be. As with secret #4, do not live your life thinking about your mistakes, whether they be great or small. Move forward and ask God to turn the mistakes of the past into a blessing for the future.

Where the mind goes, the man follows. If you pay more attention to your thoughts and choose to think on things that will help you instead of hinder you, it will release God's power to help you be the confident woman God wants you to be.

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter 3

Once again, it is time for Book Club Thursday! Remember to check out Kristi's blog to see her thoughts on this week's chapter.

The verses (1 Corinthians 14:34-36) which are the basis for this week's chapter have been a source for debate throughout the modern church. I really enjoyed reading what Joyce had learned through much research concerning this passage of Scripture. She does not say anything that would contradict God's Word, but she shows many reasons why this verse may have been included in the Paul's letter to the Corinthians. I am not going to be delving into her specific findings on this matter. I am going to focus more on the more general quotes that really stood out to me. As always, her direct quotes are in bold print.

• It's a time-tested truth: Most people who criticize others for what they are doing, are usually doing nothing themselves. This is so true in every area of life. When I was first married, I had so many people tell me, "You're doing that? Just wait until you've been married this long..." or "You treat your husband like that? Just wait until you've been married a few more years. You'll get over that..." The women telling me these things were the ones that were not putting much effort into developing their relationship with husbands. They were satisfied with the status quo their marriage had reached, they were comfortable doing just enough to keep the relationship faithful and stable, but that was it. I chose to stay away from women with that mindset. Many people (still to this day) could not figure out why my closest friends were family members (Mom, sister, aunts, cousins, etc.) and a few choice friends. I chose to be influenced by women who were still very much in love with their husbands after 30 years of marriage, were not going to fall into the rut, and wanted to work towards building their families into a God-honoring entity.


• When Paul told the women to be silent, he had already told two other groups to be silent. They were those who spoke in tongues and prophesied. All of these instructions were intended to bring order to the service- not to silence the people forever or prevent them from teaching and preaching the gospel of Jesus Christ. It appears that those who spoke in tongues, those who prophesied, and some of the women were all disrupting the service for various reasons. It is evident that he was dealing with a specific situation for a specific time frame in history. Before I continue in this area, I want it understood that I am not against the speaking of tongues, nor do I not believe that there is an expiration date given anywhere in the Bible for any of the gifts (although I have heard a couple of pastors trying to explain an expiration date, but their logic was never quite clear). I know this may sound strange to those of you who know that I have grown up in Baptist churches, but I do not believe that the arguement against the gifts of the Spirit is strong enough. I do not want to get to heaven and find out that the gifts of the Spirit were available to me, but because my own lack of faith, I was not given the opportunity. I have not personally experienced the gift of speaking in tongues, but I have been in churches where the gift has been used in such a beautiful and orderly way, and my family has been directly ministered to by it. I have also been to some where there was chaos and confusion because of the lack of order, and instead of being minitered to, I was nervous. So I understand Paul's instructions to the users of those gifts.


• Paul may have told the women to be silent to keep order in the service. Because of the pagan practices, it is possible that women were being disruptive, not purposely, but out of excitement in what they were learning, and they may have reverted back into their old ways. I do not believe that Paul was saying that women are not to hold positions in the church. Nursery coordinators, minister of children, and Sunday school teachers are just a few of the positions held by women in the church we are members at. These women do not "rule over" men in any way, but they cannot do their jobs without speaking. The spirit of the verse and the context must be taken into account and not just the letter. I remember in my Twenties and Thirties Sunday school class, one woman would not answer questions or make comments (even if she disagreed with something) because she felt that this verse meant she could not speak up in church.


• Don't ever let anyone tell you that God cannot or will not use you, just because you are a woman. God can use anyone or anything for His service. He used a smooth stone to bring down a giant. He used a shepherd's staff to rain plagues down on Egypt. He used a donkey to speak to Balaam. He used a teenage girl to give birth to the Savior. He used a wooden cross to bring salvation to the world. He can use you. If you think you are small and insignificant, then you are the perfect size for God to do something great with. Do not let your fears hold you back from what God wants to use you for.

Book Club Thursday- The Confident Woman Chapter 2

Chapter 2 of The Confident Woman by Joyce Meyer was very eye opening to me. I guess I have lived a pretty sheltered life and have been blessed not to have suffered the way others have (Joyce herself was the victim of abuse from her own father). In a house of three women where Dad was totally outnumbered, it never ocurred to me that so many women around the world are treated as less than human and have no rights. It made me thankful for the women who began the cause for the rights of women (the modern feminist movement is far from the original cause). However, as important as it is to have individual rights, God does have an order which must be followed for His people to live in harmony with Him and each other.

As with last week's post, I will be printing the actual quotes from the book in bold print. Remember to visit Kristi's blog to read her thoughts on this week's chapter.

• God created women, and He said that everything He created was very good. God created us, therefore we have a purpose. He created us from the man and for man, but remember where he created us from- the side. We are neither above or below men. God created us to walk beside our men. So many times, women are made to feel insignificant and unworthy of anything better than what they have been made to feel, but God called them good. One of the definitions of good is of high quality; excellent. (dictionary.com)



• Women are usually more emotionally driven than men, and men are more logical. Definitely! Brian and I can watch the same Publix commercial (storylines mixed with food sales/preparation), and I will be in tears because of the story line, and he will be hungry from looking at the food. I tend to base my reactions to someone by how they made me feel with their words or actions, and he will look at what they said and filter it through his what-they-meant machine (sometimes I wish I had one of those).
  
• Satan has hated women almost from the beginning, because it was a woman who would ultimately give birth to Jesus Christ, the defeater of Satan and all of his evil works. The attack on women is a result of Satan's anger towards women and the high calling God has placed on them (it was through a woman that Jesus was born, and also "the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world"). If Satan can keep women down, emotionally, positionally, and socially, the next generation will have a harder time rising above their circumstances.


• Men need women, and women need men...God created us to need each other. During our premarital counceling, my father (who has his doctorate in Biblical counceling and did our premarital counceling using the Before You Say I Do workbook) gave Brian and me every compatibility test in his arsenal. After evaluating our answers, he told my mother that he had never seen two people more compatible with each other. Why? Because my weaknesses were Brian's strengths, and my strengths were his weaknesses. Brian and I needed each other. For example, in our spiritual gift test, Brian scored a 97% in the gift of mercy, and (I am sad to say) I scored a 3% (don't laugh!). Put our scores together and you have 100%. However, when it came to teaching and administration, Brian scored a 3% and I scored a 97% (hence why I loved being a teacher and love organizing things). It is the same with men and women in general. We have different strengths and weaknesses. If we shared weaknesses and strengths there would be major gaps in the accomplishments possible. God has given both genders unique qualities and abilities that the other lacks.


• The Bible states that the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. If a married couple can handle themselves the way God intended, their relationship will be wonderful and unbelieveably fruitful. This passage of scripture receives a lot of debate and criticism. However, the chain of command exists in every area of our lives. When we are children, we know that Dad and Mom are in charge. When we are in school, we know that the teachers are in charge of us, but they answer to the principal, who answers to the school board. When we go out into the "real world" and get jobs, we are under the authority of our boss. We accept these authorities in these situations, but for some reason, the idea of being submissive to our husbands makes many women take up arms. Why? It could be due to the mistreatment of women that they have seen, either growing up or in situations close to them. However, if both sides fall into the order that God has placed in the home, I believe that marriages will flourish. Anytime we follow God's will, there are only blessings in store. However, if men do not recognize that Christ is their head and that they need to be in submission to Him, they will not treat their wives the way Christ treated the church (remember, He loved us- the church- so much that He gave His life for us), and their wives may resist being submissive. On the flip side, if women do not show healthy submissiveness to their husbands, their husbands may not take on the role of spiritual leadership and authority in the home.


• My purpose is to encourage you as women, to tell you that it is time for you to take your rightful place in the family and society. It is time for you to have a healthy self-respect, balanced self-love and a firm unshakeable confidence in God and the gifts, talents, and abilities that He has placed on the inside of you. I loved this quote. Why? Because my goal is to encourage women in their walk with God, homes, marriages, and families. But it all centers around our reliance and confidence in God Himself. Without Him we are nothing. But with Him we can do all things (Phil. 4:13). He is the one who has given us our gifts, talents, and abilities, and if we ask Him, He can help us to use those talents and abilities to their maxium potential.

I had mentioned last week that I was encouraged, after reading the book, to take a step out of my comfort zone in an area that I felt God leading me. Well, I took that step this week. As I begin to see the results of that step, I will share them with you.