First and foremost let me say that our confidence must be found in Christ because without Him we can do nothing (Philippians 4:13). Our confidence cannot and should not be found in ourselves (which is a popular train of thought these days) or others- boyfriend, spouse, children, parents, siblings, etc. God's Word says, "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put our confidence in men," Psalm 118:8. However, there are some steps that we as women can take in gaining confidence in who we are in Christ. *The actual quotes from the book are in bold print.
- A confident person is open to learning, because she knows that her confidence allows her to walk through life's doorways, eager to discover what is on the other side. No one has reached the level of perfection in any area. We are all still learning whether it be new recipes, new methods of cleaning or organizing, a new craft or technique in a craft you are well acquainted with. Learning helps us gain confidence, but also shows that we are not afraid to show our vulnerable side and learn something new. It is usually the new and unfamiliar that tends to awaken fear inside of us (I know that is where I am), because it shows our vulnerability. We like what we are comfortable with and stepping into unfamiliar territory can be frightening. However, once we do take that step, jump, or leap into the unknown, we are surprised with how little there was to fear in the first place.
- Confident people do not concentrate on their weaknesses; they develop and maximize their strengths. It is so easy to not only concentrate on our own weaknesses, but more so the weaknesses of others. By pointing out their shortcomings, it somehow gives us the feeling that we are better than they are and have fewer weaknesses, which is generally not the case. A confident person not only maximizes their strengths and focuses on improving those areas that they are good at, but they are also willing to point out the strengths of others without feeling intimidated. The confident person also maximizes their strengths by not only focusing on their strengths, but improving their strengths. I found that for me, rather than try to do everything under the sun, I need to focus on what I am good at, leave everything else behind, and become the best in my areas of strength, which will also help simplify my life in the process. For me, being the best woman for God, wife for my husband, and mother for my daughter needs to be my focus, and my strengths need to be fine tuned and improved to benefit them.
- Confident people make it a habit to think and act positively. It is so easy to think about a negative word that someone said, and to just replay it over and over in your mind. By the time you are done, you are in such a bad mood, and nothing seems to go right for you for the rest of the day. Rather than rehash the careless words of others if they have been said with the intent to cut down and are not constructive in any way, we need to bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), and make sure that the thoughts we think are following Philippians 4:8.
- Confidence enables us to live authentically. When we are confident in who we are, there is no need to put on an act or show of what we think people want us to be and not what we really are. That is something that I see in my daughter. She does not care who is watching or what other may think. She is who she is. She has never viewed herself as intruding on some one's time (how many times do we say timidly, "Am I interrupting something?"), she never acts as if she has gotten in your way (how many times do we unconsciously duck when passing in front of someone?), she brings her toys out to share with anyone and just assume they want to play with her (how many times do we sheepishly ask if someone wants to see something and if they would rather not it is okay with us?), and she walks right up to people, looks them in the eyes, and begins talking about anything without the hint of question in her voice (how many times are we afraid to just walk up to someone and start talking to them, and if we do how many times do our words have question marks at the end?). As we teach and mold Addie Girl, I pray that she never loses the confidence that she has now or her ability to live authentically.
- A confident person feels safe. Safe enough to jump in with both feet into the unknown to explore the possibilities that God has in store for them. Safe enough to not worry about what others may think if they know they are being led by the Lord. Safe enough to know that if their jump leads to a painful fall, they can rely on the Lord to get back up in order to jump again.
Suzette, you have such godly wisdom! I am so glad I have you in my life as a friend and mentor.
ReplyDelete