What I Have Learned Over 38 Years

I am 38 years old today.

At least that is what the date on my birth certificate says I am.

I certainly do not feel like I am 38.

I feel more like I am in my twenties.

But, I have learned quite a few things over the last 38 years.

1. God is always faithful. My mother told me that as they wheeled her into surgery the day before she passed away. At first I didn't see how that was God being faithful, but I have seen Him at work faithfully in my life and have come to see how He was and is faithful all the time.

2. Marry your best friend. Before Brian and I ever dated, he was my friend. He was the guy I felt comfortable talking to because I didn't have to worry about him asking me out. In my mind, he was good practice for me so when God brought the right guy my way, I would be comfortable talking to him (does God have a sense of humor or what!). Needless to say, Brian became my best friend, and I had the honor of marrying him.

3. It is okay to leave your comfort zone. I was always someone who preferred to stay home. Leaving my comfort zone was a scary thought for me. However, since becoming a mother, I have begun branching out, joining homeschool groups and co-ops, and making wonderful friends. Because I have taken the steps needed to leave my comfort zone, my children are learning to do the same, and we are making some pretty great memories together.

4. Your age is just a number. I refuse to "feel" my age, and I refuse to let anyone dictate to me how my age is supposed to make me feel. As I said, I feel like I am still in my twenties, and I pray that I continue to feel like that for a long time to come. (I'd also like to look like I'm in my twenties, but I won't push it.)

5. True friends are invaluable. God has blessed my life with many wonderful people. Friends that I know from church, family friends, friends that are family, and friends that I have made through our homeschool groups. I have also been blessed with friends that I have known since my high school youth group days. God has used each of these people in some way to bless our lives, and I can only pray that I am able to bless them in some way as well.

6. God has ways to fill in the voids in our lives. After Mom passed away, there was a Mom sized void in my heart and life. God immediately began bringing women to walk beside me to help fill that void. From my mother-in-law to aunts to friends, God has brought specific women into my life who have all made invaluable contributions to my heart.

7. Children are truly a gift from The Lord. God has given us the children that He knew we needed, with the personalities that would fit our family perfectly. And boy, did He give them personalities! Our 5 1/2 year old can think in ways that make me forget how young she really is, and our 2 year old has figured out how to joke around and make jokes that will get him the biggest laughs. We have come to the conclusion that our family is complete with our two gifts.

8. In-laws can be your greatest allies. I know that not everyone is blessed with a great relationship with their in-laws, but God has blessed me with a wonderful set of in-laws who love me as their own daughter. When I need a sitter at the spur of the moment because of a sudden emergency, I can pick up the phone and Mom is there. (By the way, thanks for watching the kids tonight, Mom, so Brian can take me out for dinner.) When we need help around the house, Pops drops everything and is here with all of his tools to lend a hand. (Pops, thanks for coming over a few weeks ago to help me redecorate the master bedroom so I could surprise Brian.) I love you both!

9. Having a plan is essential. I am not a "fly by the seat of my pants" kind of girl. If I am going to have a successful day, I have to have a plan. Some days I have a moment by moment schedule written out.Some  days, I live by our normal routine. Some days, I write out a list of things to do. But each day has a plan. It has to. I can't function any other way.

10. Mommy needs to take care of herself. There is a reason why flight attendants tell their parent passengers if in case of an emergency and the oxygen masks come down that they are to put theirs on first and then put the mask on their children. If mom or dad passes out, the children have no chance. When I keep putting myself off, I find that I am too worn out to give my all to my children. I learned that this week. I kept pushing myself until I threw out my back and ended up with a migraine. If I had taken the time to do some Mommy care, I would have been able to put my kids to bed on Monday and Tuesday instead of feeling like an invalid while Brian took care of bedtime.

I have also learned.....

.....that a cup of coffee in the evening with Brian always makes for a great morning.

.....that things pushed to the back of the refrigerator will never be eaten.

.....that children always call for mommy in the middle of the night. I know I always did...

.....that it is possible to get lost in the smallest section of town for 2 hours.

.....that the level of respect and courtesy that people have for each other has diminished greatly- just 
     go to a theme park with a stroller.

.....that there is no greater thrill than to see pure joy in the eyes of your children.

.....that it is possible to feel closer to an online group of friends than to people you know in
     person.

.....that even though technology has improved the visual effects of movies and television
     shows, nothing beats an episode of "Little House on the Prairie."

.....that Christmas will forever be my favorite holiday.

.....that it is better to buy furniture after you have children. There are some things you don't
     think of when furnishing a child-free home that you wish you could change after you   
     have children.

.....that a yearly pass to a local theme park is a great investment.

It has been a wonderful 38 years. I look forward to many more years serving the Lord and my family.

Archives | A Letter From Mom

Timing is everything (or so I'm told).

The archive post that fell on today could not have been timed more perfectly.

It is all about prayer and babies.

This weekend, we celebrated the upcoming birth of my nephew, who has been prayed for and covered in prayer throughout my sister's pregnancy.

And what a pregnancy she has been blessed with!

No morning sickness. No cravings. And the Lord has been working in every area of my sister's life to even make her work load as light as possible (this year she has both an intern and a certified teacher helping her in the classroom).

I must say that neither my sister nor I have experienced the types of pregnancies that our mother did. Mom always wanted more children, but her pregnancies were hard as will be seen in today's archive post, which was A Letter From Mom to me.

Every time I read this letter it reminds me that God had a purpose for my life.

Your life has a purpose, too.

I pray that today you come to see your purpose and worth, because you were created by an Almighty God who loves you.

Thankful | Suzette -by Brian (husband)

No this is not my wife. She would never write about herself so I thought this would be a nice surprise. I apologize for I am not as gifted with words as she is, but here goes nothing.

Thankful for savings. Right now Suzette (whom I call babes) is doing black Friday shopping (on Thursday?) to save our family money on Christmas gifts. She is the best at finding deals and stretching my paycheck as far as she can. I am amazed at how gifted she is at saving us money.

Thankful for beauty. I must say my wife is the most beautiful (both inside and out) woman on earth. I truly am a blessed man! She's HOT!

Thankful for friendship. Yes, I married my best friend. I don't just love my wife....I really like her too! All day, everyday I can't wait to get home from work to spend my evenings with her.

Thankful for her as a mother. My daughter is already reading at age 4. My son communicates his needs to us through sign language. We can bring them anywhere and not worry about their behavior. And they are a joy to be around. They are like a carbon copy of her, and the love she pours into them is amazing.

Thankful for her as a wife. She meets all my needs, is a terrific cook, and did I mention she's HOT!

Thankful for her Godliness. She really is a Proverbs 31 woman and again she teaches our kids about the Lord and is also an encouragement to me. She keeps me in check daily on the things of the Lord (in a respectful way). She lives up to her e-mail name (godlyrose). I think it defines her perfectly.

 

Thankful for sense of humor. She may post on here that I'm the funny one, but she often can make me laugh and smile. Being married has been a lot of fun and I'm looking forward to the rest of our lives together. There's never a dull moment!

I have to go now , I just heard the garage door open and it's 12:30 am...

Babes, I love you! Thank you for marrying me and for being YOU!

Eight Years Ago........

Our story began much earlier than July 10, 2004. But all of those events, dates, the proposal, the bridal shower, and the rehearsal dinner (below) all brought us to this date.

I am amazed at what 8 years have seen us through.

The wedding, of course.

Living for our first two years in the little house you bought a year before we even started dating.

Our first anniversary and purchasing a piece of property.

Our second anniversary

Buying the house we presently live in.

Finding out that we were expecting our first baby right before our 3rd anniversary.

Sadly, we lost my mother just before Addie was born.

But God turned our sadness into joy with the birth of our Addie girl.

We had anniversaries 4-7 as a family of three.

But we made sure we took time for the two of us.

During those years, we gained a brother.......

Addie asked Jesus to come into her heart......

And we became pregnant with baby number two.

Right now, we are satisfied with being the family of four that we are. We love being us. We love sharing our time with each other and with our children.

Now, here we are at year eight. I love you more than I did when we first got married.

I look forward to seeing what God has planned for us and our little family in the future.

Happy anniversary, Brian......

No Matter What People Do.....

......trust God!

I, unfortunately, tend to be the kind of person who holds things in, holds on to hurts, replays hurtful words spoken by others (and retells them to Brian), and think of what I could have said instead of just standing there smiling like the words didn't affect me at all.

This past week, Addie has gone to VBS at my aunt's church. Because Brian was out of town almost the entire week, I stayed and listen to the group lessons, mingled with the other ladies, and took walks with Bud around the church property.

One evening, the lesson theme was "No matter what people do.... trust God!"

The youth pastor and his assistant did a skit where the assistant was hurt by lies that were told about him, and he was holding on to the hurts and words said. The youth pastor then went on to tie balloons on the assistants arms and legs for all of the hurts he was holding on to. One of the songs the kids had been learning was then played and the young man was asked to do the choreography.

He couldn't.

The balloons were in his way, getting him tangled up, and making it impossible for him to move normally.

It was a great illustration for me and lesson that I have to let go of hurts, words, and the resulting bitterness that grows in my heart because I hold on to these things. By holding on to these feelings, my relationship with God is hindered, and I am not as effective in my role as a wife and mother.

Easier said than done. I know.

And so the growing process continues......

My "I Love Lucy" Moment

Yesterday, Brian was away overnight finishing up a job that he had worked at Thursday through Saturday this past week. This time, he was going to be working alone instead of with his coworker, so on Monday he asked me to put the music from several of his favorite CDs (Casting Crowns, Mercy Me, Third Day, Mark Schultz) on his MP3 player so he would have something to listen to.

We haven't used the MP3 player in a while, but I knew where it was.  The junk drawer.... which in reality is not an accurate name for it since it is really a "catch all" drawer. Seriously, who keeps junk? And who keeps it in a drawer?

I opened the drawer an decided that right then was as good a time as any to clean it out. Besides, when you're looking for something, it is usually on the bottom in the back, right?

As I expeced, I found the MP3 player on the bottom in the back of the drawer and began putting a few things back into the drawer.

Suddenly, I heard the garage door open.

"Is Brian home already? He never called to give me his ETA," I thought.

I opened the laundry room door into the garage and peeked in. The garage door was wide open, but no one was there! Kind of creepy!

I began thinking of how someone could have figured out our code... how someone could have already sneaked into the garage and could be hiding behind our vehicle.... what was the fastest way for me to get my children to safety....

Something brushed up against my leg, and I gasped and jumped. Addie looked up at me and asked, "Is Daddy home?" I was so focused on the garage and my thoughts, I never heard her come up behind me.

"No, Mama," I said as I shut the garage door, closed the laundry room door and locked it, and turned the house alarm on to "no entry delay."

Then I began downloading the music for Brian. A few minutes later, he called to let me know he was on his way home.

"You know, the  garage door opened earlier. I thought you had gotten home. It was really weird," I told him.

"Really? That is weird. I don't even have a garage door opener in my van-"

"Oh, guess what! I found the other garage door opener (which Faye had kept in her vehicle when she lived with us) in the junk drawer when I was cleaning it out."

"Um, did the garage door open when you were cleaning out the junk drawer?"

"Yeah, but-"

And then it dawned on me.

I had opened the garage door!

We both laughed and Brian said, "Baby, that was an "I Love Lucy" moment!"

Even though we had figured out how the garage door opened, I never disarmed the alarm. When Brian arrived home, I was in the middle of bathing Addie. He opened the door and the alarm immediately went off.

A perfect ending to our "Lucy" moment!

Pajama Night

This past Wednesday was Pajama Night at Awana.

Addie was all decked out in her pj's, I was not.

I was trying to convince her that it was okay to out in public in her pajamas just this once. She wouldn't buy it.

Not until I put on my pajamas.

Then it was the cool thing to do.

Only for the love of my daughter.

Puggles

Last night was my first night leading my Puggles class. I have a wonderful co-teacher who is a kindergarten teacher "in real life" and does an amazing job in teaching the lesson. I basically come up with the flow of the evening and crafts and filler activities.

I needed to decorate our classroom so the kiddos and I did that yesterday late morning/early afternoon. All of the new items that were ordered for my class had just come in. I was asked to try putting up the decorations with tape first and if that didn't work then I could go ahead and use whatever means necessary.

Ian had fallen asleep so I put him in a crib nearby and went to work. Addie "helped" so much. I put tape on the back of each of twenty-two pictures and went to work lining them up just right on the wall. When I had finished putting up the last picture I heard Bud start crying. He had woken up and was hungry. I picked him up, fed him, and went back to the class room.

This is what I found.

Almost all of them had fallen off the wall!

Okay. It's all good. It was only twenty minutes out of my day. Onto "whatever means necessary!"

I went to the resource room got a box of push pins, rearranged my design, and, 20 minutes later, this was the result! I loved it!

Then it was time to practice my craft idea with Addie to work out the kinks. Because March comes in like a lion and out like a lamb, we made lion heads out of paper plates. I told Addie what to do and she did it.

Next time I will not be using Addie as my deciding factor as to how a craft will go.

She knows and "gets" me. I know and "get" her. She follows directions well. Her teachers in Cubbies did not even realize that she had just turned four.

The Puggles are two and a half and very young threes. They didn't quite "get" the directions. And it took everything in me not to put their craft together for them. But the parents were pretty proud with the pride of lions hanging in the corner of the room.

I learned a lot this week about my little class. Like how important free play is. How if one child takes his shoes and socks off, everyone takes their shoes and socks off. How if one child is playing with the Mickey Mouse riding plane, everyone tries to pile on to take their turn. How coloring inside the lines is a concept that is unheard of. How saying, "Let's put the toys away," in the most pleasant voice I could muster actually means, "Let's see how many toys we can take out!"

You've gotta love Puggles!

Waffles and Spaghetti

I love Fox News Channel.  And the folks on Fox and Friends are my morning friends.  They are so funny and really present the news in a fair way.  Once they were speaking of a new book that had come out which described men as being like waffles and women like spaghetti.

And that describes Brian and me perfectly!  (Side note: Isn't he just so cute!)

Men tend to think in a very compartmentalized way.  They tend (generally speaking) to accomplish one task at a time. Being interrupted and asked to jump from task to task before the task at hand is complete is a sure way to frustrate a man.  And we all know that bringing up weighty matters of life during a big game will get us no where!  They can focus on one thing at a time.... and the big game happens to be it.

When at job sites, Brian prefers to work on one task at a time instead of having each employee at an office constantly asking him to run here, finish this up quickly, or show them how to do that.  It really bothers him!  Why?  Because he is jumping from square to square on his waffle without completing the task in each individual square. 

Women generally are known as being multi-taskers.  We can do multiple things at a time and do them all well.  We clean, do the laundry, make the meals, take care of children, and a whole host of other things all at the same time.  Why?  Because like spaghetti, everything is intertwined with  each other.  Each strand of spaghetti touches all of the other strands of spaghetti, but no strand of spaghetti is adversely affected by this mish-mash.

It drives Brian crazy that, in the evening, I can watch TV with him, be on the computer, carry on a conversation with Addie (all at the same time) and I am fully aware of each thing I am participating in.

When you think of how God has designed the genders and roles he planned for us to have in our homes, it makes total and complete sense. As the bread winner of our home, Brian has to be focused on each task that he is involved in.  It is that focus that helps him do his job accurately and to the best of his ability. Because in our home, he also takes care of the more dangerous things (climbing ladders to clean the ceiling fans, getting on the roof to clean the soffets, doing the mowing), he has to be focused on the task at hand.  Imagine me, a multi-tasker, doing those jobs!  Can we all say disaster!

If I only did one job at a time, nothing that I normally accomplish in the day would get done! I cannot only focus on Addie or the house would never get cleaned, laundry would never get done, and dinner would never be fixed.  On days when I go with my ladies to scrapbooking day, Brian stays home with Addie.  When I get home, he always tells me the same thing, "I don't know how you do everything you do. I was only able to......."  As good as it makes me feel, I have to realize that God did not design Brian to do my job, and He did not design me to do his job.

By the same token, waffles and spaghetti come into play in regular conversations.  Men discuss one topic at a time.  They don't like to jump from topic to topic.  Most women, on the other hand, jump from one thought to another, and from topic to topic and we completely keep up with the changes in the conversation (I'm notorious for this). 

Brian and I can have a conversation and it can be a hilarious scenario.  He can start the conversation on one topic and my spaghetti mind will connect that topic with many memories, which will then go to other topics and other memories, and when my thoughts have finally stopped, I can say something completely off the original topic.  Brian will look at me with a quizzical look and ask where I came up with my last statement.  I'll laugh and try to explain my train of thought, and he will chuckle and say, "I'm still in my waffle square."

I love couponing!  But in order to get the most out of my coupons, I have to plan before I get to the store, break up my purchases at the register, and use my coupons at the right time.  When I come home waving my receipts like a banner of accomplishment, I try explaining to Brian all of the ins and outs, ups and downs, and strategy used in getting the final price.  Usually mid-explanation, Brian gets a look that lets me know I have taken one too many spaghetti trails and he is ready for the bottom line.  How much did I spend?  And although for me the bottom line for me is completely meaningless and holds no personal satisfaction without the complete story behind it, I know that his waffle square only holds enough room for so much syrup (information).  I tell him how much I saved and how much I spent.  He is thrilled.... and then I text my sister (also made of spaghetti) who enjoys all of the details.

Who would have thought that waffles and spaghetti were such a great combo!