Faye is my beautiful sister, and Jim is my awesome brother-in-law (you heard from Jim's mother, Nancy, on Friday).
Faye and Jim are another couple that God orchestrated putting together. By spending time with them, you just know that God hand picked Jim and Faye for each other.
Faye is an excellent writer and has really given us a great peek inside their story.
1. How old (young) were you when you met your husband?
Although it seemed that ever meeting my spouse was something that would happen "sometime" in the ever-looming future, I finally met my husband when I was 29. As I look back, I know God's timing in my life was perfect. I honestly don't think I could have been the woman my husband needed before that point. When you feel like you need a husband in order to give you the affirmation and confidence you need, it's probably not the right time.
We were designed according to the Bible to be a "help-meet" to him; therefore, the focus is not on him meeting "our" needs and giving us a confidence boost we may feel we are lacking. And yet the amazing blessing is...that a great husband like mine will strive daily to meet the needs in my life that God intended for him to fill.
While the wait for both of us may have seemed long, I think it has also helped to deepen our appreciation for each other. We both feel so blessed to have each other to love and enjoy life with for the rest of our journey on this earth.
2. How did you meet?
We met each other online through Christian Mingle. Although I was attending a pretty large church at the time, meeting other singles was somewhat of a challenge. I would drive all the way to the church, only to discover that the gathering had been cancelled or moved elsewhere. (Divine intervention, if you ask me.) It became frustrating after a while and so I pretty much stopped pursuing it.
Then my dad suggested I try a Christian dating site. While there are many fish in the sea, not all of them are the perfect catch, and so if you are single and considering online dating, be careful and very selective. If you're too desperate, you can certainly end up with a guy...but not the one God has for you.
After a while of looking through online sites, and seeing a lot of "no's", I noticed that this handsome guy had looked at my profile on Christian Mingle, and what he had to say showed he was the real deal and not simply a Christian in name only but in life as well. He wrote that "Christ has to be at the center of the relationship." (Hmmm...not many other guys seemed to be that serious enough to post a comment like that.)
So, brave little me (who was usually pretty shy around guys) decided to initiate the talk by sending a pre-made comment. He then replied and asked if I was interested in us getting to know each other better. We weren't actual subscribers at the time to the site, but both joined to move along further in conversation. We then began chatting by instant message and by phone, and he was just so kind and respectful. He amazed me by wanting to know details about my day. (Wow, a guy who could actually be interested in my life?! I was impressed.)
2. Was there anything special that he had to do before taking you out on a date?
We didn't chat long before he decided he wanted to meet me in person (perhaps a week or two), but I informed him that our family rule was that he would need to meet my dad first and then ask him for permission to date me. To my shock, Jim was willing to do this right away.
It took a lot of courage and also proved to me even more so that he was a really great guy. What even further impressed me was that he told me he would pray that God would give my dad discernment (regarding this). Wow. He went to my dad's job, bought him lunch, and got the "go ahead."
3. How long did you date each other before you were married?
Jim proposed to me that Valentine's Day at a gorgeous five star restaurant in Hyde Park (Bern's Steakhouse) in their upstairs dessert room. We had met online on Sunday, July 19, 2009 and were married the following year on my birthday which was Saturday, July 17, 2010. So, it was exactly one year from the day we had first met.
4. How did you know he was "the one"?
I guess from the beginning, seeing what he had written online, seeing his heart for the Lord, and just the way he treated me (always with kindness and respect), I knew he was the right one. He was a man I could look up to and feel truly loved and respected by. In fact, he even respected my wish to save our first kiss for our wedding day, and that meant a lot to me. He respected me in every way, like a guy who's living for the Lord should.
On our second date, I was also impressed by the fact that he bought us Busch Garden's passes. That really showed me he was making an investment in our relationship, even though it was only our second date. (After all, how would he know I was the one he'd want to keep taking to Busch Gardens?)
Throughout our whole relationship, though, Jim proved himself to be genuine. He truly loved the Lord, he truly loved me and only me (talking woman-wise here), he loved and respected his family and mine, he was mature and responsible in every way, and he was sooo thoughtful... He was just absolutely the perfect one for me. (P.S. Oh, and the fact that he was also incredibly handsome didn't hurt either. ;)
5. How long have you been married?
Jim and I have now been married for three and half years. It feels like I've known him forever though because we just get along so well, by the grace of God, and just feel so comfortable around each other. He is truly, as I always say, "The love of my life, my handsome prince, the man of my dreams, and my best friend."
6. What is one piece of advice that you would give to young women who are currently walking through the journey of marriage?
Find out what he enjoys.
Talk with him about it (even if you don't always understand a lot of it).
Go to places he wants to go.
Watch him compete and cheer him on in his sports.
Sit and watch sports with him and learn about them. (I've become more knowledgeable about tennis than I ever was before getting married, and I enjoy it. It enhances your own life to become an active learner in something you never were really into before.)
Be a sound board for him, allowing him to feel safe and "at home" just talking with you.
Trust me, your husbands need this...And you'll find, that if his heart is also in the right place, he'll do more for you also than you could ever imagine.
Faye has been a teacher for 10 years. God has really given her some incredible ideas when it comes to teaching children important concepts in math, and language arts. you can check out her store at Teachers Pay Teachers. In fact, click here to download her FREE method of teaching children skip counting. It's been downloaded 5,500 times already!