Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Letters From Mom

As we have been getting Faye ready for the "big move", we came across some of Mom's notebooks. It is so wonderful seeing Mom's handwriting and reading her thoughts about us and her devotions (which she always kept notes on). The following is a sort of journal entry she wrote on July 7, 2007. It shows the love of a mother and the side of Mom as a woman who is "just like me".  I remember the conversation itself happening (I was in our bedroom at the time), but it is so neat to see what was going through Mom's mind while we were talking.  I have corrected some of the grammar and added missing words in [ ].  I also interjected some of my own thoughts which are in blue.

I just got a call from my niece Dorinda, who called to congratulate me on being a Grandma. She had just heard from her sister Betsy with the news about her cousin who was expecting for the first time. You have to understand that by the Grace of God we are a close family and we rejoice with a family member who is blessed.

About ten minutes after, my daughter Suzette called me excited to let me know that her two cousins called her up rejoicing with her and with encouraging words about having [a baby] and being a mom.  Then I heard the voice of my daughter change with concern.

"Mom, I don't know why but I just feel like crying. I don't have any reason to cry. Is this a normal thing that is happening to me?" 

Oh, I assured her that this was very normal. This was my opportunity to teach, like Titus suggests, "The older women to teach the younger women to love their husband."  She described to me that she was becoming sensitive to whatever my wonderful son-in-law, Brian, would do or say. She always introduced Brian as her wonderful son-in-law.  I know she would have felt the same about Jim.  I assured her that when a person becomes pregnant these things happen. 

I remember well when I was pregnant of her. I have a brother, Samuel, and everything he did bothered me. He didn't do anything wrong to me.  As I write this I feel like crying. I loved Sammy so much. He has always been a close brother to me.  All of my brothers have been close to us.  This is something unusual, but I have been blessed to have brothers that call me to see how I am doing.  They always keep in touch.  [So] How could I have felt this way? 

I explained to Suzette the changes that our bodies go through- these crazy hormones. Oh, Mom, you were so down to earth! As we continued to talk, I laughed and told her, "Listen, when you go through these mood swings with Brian, call me up.  Tell me, because you have to live with Brian." She laughed.  She said, "Mom, can you speak to Brian and tell him." 

She put Brian on the phone. 

Oh, how blessed are we to have Brian, a man of strength and honor!  That is what his name means.  "Hi, Mama!" He always calls me Mama. I spoke to him and explained to him the mood swings that Suzette would experience.  He listened so respectfully.  He was ready for all of that, he said.  Brian was so excited that the baby was coming.  They had been waiting 3 years for this great news. 

Afterward, I spoke to Suzette.  I wanted [her] to know what to expect in the months to come so that nothing would take her by surprise.  When it did come, she would be assured.  Hey, this is normal, I explained to Suzette. 

You have to know my daughter to know she is always concerned about her weight. She always eats well.  Not junk food [does] she put into her body.  She takes very good care of her temple which the Holy Spirit dwells in.  As a matter of fact, she is looking for an exercise tape to do during her pregnancy. Ahem...don't I feel guilty now about not being as careful as I had been when she was here.  I was saying that now she has to eat when she feels those pangs in her stomach.  That is the cry of her little one inside to be fed. 

I also told Suzette, "When you give birth, you might or might not get those "mommy blues". This is normal and this too shall pass. I did get "mommy blues" but they weren't the kind you described. They were more the "I miss my mommy blues". 

I remember that I didn't have anyone to explain to me the things I would experience after giving birth.  Yes, I was told that it is a good experience to be a mommy, but what about the mood swings I would go through?  I wish I had someone who had helped me along the way.  I always shared with other girls (now it was time for me to share with my daughter)that sometimes it takes up to 6 months after the baby comes to get adjusted with so many things.  This [is] what it took me with my two daughters. 

I cried as I shared because I remembered [how I felt] and now my daughter was going through these same things.  What a wonderful privilege God has given us mothers to be able to pass down comfort and encouragement.  Thank you Lord for Titus chapter 2.

My dear daughters, everything will be just right.  These feelings will all pass. This is exactly how she ended this entry.  Thank you for taking the time to write this, Mom.  It was more helpful than you could have imagined.

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