Thursday, September 15, 2011

Life Lessons | Proverbs 31:12

"She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life."

How can we bring good to the men in our lives and not harm? One thing that always sticks out to me is how wives belittle their husbands and try to outdo each other in retelling how terrible their husbands are. I learned from my mother not to tell others the negative points about my husband. Yes, there are times when a young wife needs council in dealing with a marital situation. That is when she needs to find an older, much more mature woman filled with God's wisdom to confide in- not for reasons of rehashing gossip, but to find ways to improve her plight and to have another "soldier" in the trenches helping her pray through the situation. If we honestly think about it, would we want our husbands sharing our faults and belittling us before their friends?

I think another way to do good and not harm is in the way of finances. We need to make sure that we do not cause our husbands any undo financial stress (lets face it, ladies, we do enjoy shopping). Something I began doing after becoming a stay-at-home mom was if I didn't have a reason to really go shopping, but I went to a store just to walk around and get out for a bit, I would carry Addie in my arms. You really can't buy anything if you can't carry it. I also only bought/buy what is on my list if I am shopping for a purpose. Another trick I learned from my mother is to try to only shop clearance racks whenever possible.

Being faithful to our husbands is definitely a way of "being good" to them. God calls both sides of marriage to be faithful to each other. In our world today, the idea is that marriage is a 50-50 deal. However, how do you know when either party has reached their 50% mark? And when they do, is that where you stop? I believe God calls us each to give our marriages 100% of ourselves, our love, and our effort. He also doesn't want us worrying how much of a percentage our spouse has put in, He wants us to worry about how much we have done (John 21:21-22).

Our husbands need to know that they have our love, loyalty, and trust. I challenge you to ask your spouse today what it is that he needs from you to feel that you are doing good and not harm to him. Brian and I have this talk regularly, and it always gives me some food for thought. And remember, although we can list off a Christmas list worth of things WE would like our spouse to do for us, this is not about us. Prayerfully go about making the changes that will make your spouse feel that you are doing good, and, in most cases, he will start to do things that will show you that he really loves and cherishes you. Just make sure that you don't go into this as a way to manipulate your husband into turning into the man you want him to become. You will be terribly disappointed.

Memorize Proverbs 31:12

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