Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Unloading

My phone rang with that familiar "Fanfare" ringtone- the one that is only for Brian's calls.

"Hey, Handsome! Hold on, let me just pause the Podcast I was listening to. It's by Simple Mom and she had a homeschooling guest on who was talking about homeschooling her 6 kids who range from 9th grade to kindergarten. Guess what? I took the kids to Publix, came home, had lunch, put them down for naps and now I am half way through making our dinners for two weeks our of the month. We're having meatloaf tonight, and I have the one for two weeks from now made and in the freezer. Now I'm making the pasta sauce that I'll use in four meals. So what's up with you?"

"Is it my turn? Good thing I wasn't calling with an emergency."

Has that ever happened to you?

Sometimes as women who are home all day, around kids all day, speaking in a high pitched mommy voice most of the day, speaking at kindergarten levels or lower it is so easy to unload all of the "grown up" thoughts we have had the moment our husband calls to say hello or walks in the door.

So what is the solution to keeping our husbands from being overwhelmed by our unloading?

Have grown up time with other ladies.

I have found that on days that I have time with other women where there is give and take in conversation, I am not quite as overwhelming to Brian when he gets home from work. On days when I have not spoken to another person other than my children, I tend to overwhelm him with conversation.

Whether it is having a face-to-face conversation with an aunt, cousin, or friend, a phone call for an extended amount, or meeting another mom at Chik-Fil-A, having a time where I can "use up my words" at least once a week helps me keep from overwhelming Brian for the rest of the week.

Have time set aside when you know you can share everything you want to say.

I am blessed to know that once the kids go down for the evening, Brian is all mine. We can talk and share uninterrupted, and I can tell him all about our day, and he can tell me about his day. He has had time to relax and move from work mode to home mode (what we call "down time"), and I have had a few chances to tell him about our day in bite sized pieces.


If he has certain times during the day, chose one thing to talk about.

Just make sure it is not something major or stress inducing for him. Brian spends a lot of most days driving from job site to job site. During those times, he calls to check in to see how things are going on the home front. I am able to share one or two of the funny or cute things the kids are up to or tell him about a brainstorm I'm having at that moment. Those little conversations throughout the day really do help in keeping me from unloading our whole day on him before he has taken five steps in the house with his lunch cooler and the mail in hand.

The conversation above made me more aware of how I answer Brian's calls. I love the "comfortableness" I have with him where I know I can start talking and he listens.....and listens...and listens. But as his helpmeet, I need to be aware that his calls may be because he has a need at the time.

Have I improved since that call?

Thankfully, I have my whole life to work on improving. :)

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