Tuesday, September 15, 2009

...Being Subject To Their Own Husbands...

The next phrase in Titus 2:3-5 is one that makes women in certain circles and groups rather uncomfortable. Why? Because we live in a society that believes that women are no different than men, that women are better than men, and that women have no need for men. What a sad message the men around us are hearing. However, God has not put this phrase in the Bible to keep women down or in a position of inferiority, but to free us from the responsibility of being the one incharge.

One way that I can be subject to my husband is by showing him respect and honor. If he makes a request, then I need to respond in a right spirit. I have been blessed to have a husband that is not demanding at all. However, there are times that he does have requests concerning dinner (a favorite meal), phone calls that need to be made (no one likes to be put on hold especially someone who is on the clock), or some unusual chore that needs to be done. In those cases, my attitude needs to be one of humility, kindness, and submission.

As women, we tend to be rather opinionated. We even tend to think that our opinion is always right and there can never be another way to look at things. However, sometimes it does not occur to us that our husbands also have opinions on matters also. When there are two valid opinions, it is important to voice our opinion in a godly, loving way. I do not believe that God wants us to roll over and be walked on, but he wants us to conduct ourselves as His daughters and to carry ourselves in beauty and character. Once we have made our opinions known to our husbands, we then need to submit our opinion to his and prayerfully trust God to take care of the rest. There are times when we need to respectfully disagree with our husbands (1 Samuel 25: 9-35). In those cases, we need to be in prayer and ask God for wisdom so that our husbands realize that our intentions were not to go above their heads but to be a blessing to them.

Going in a different direction in this verse, I think God has put that one little word own in this passage for a reason. It is so easy to compare our marriages and then say, "If my husband were only more like that, I would submit to him" or "How can she not submit to her husband? He is such a wonderful man." However, we do not know what someone else's relationship is like behind closed doors. The couple you see in public may not be the same in private. I have mentioned in past posts that we used to watch Jon and Kate Plus 8 (before the kids started getting on our nerves and Kate's attitude started to worsen). From the couch interviews, it seemed that Kate was so hard on Jon and even disrespectful. He seemed so easy going and just took her comments in stride. However, as recent events have shown, Kate was responding to issues that the rest of us did not know about. Because their lives are basically an open book to the world, everyone found out about their troubled, and now dissolved, marriage and then the comments, jabs, and snide remarks made sense (not that they were right, but we understood where they were coming from).

Women generally like to compare themselves with others and covet what their friends have. God doesn't want us mentally taking on the lives and dreams of others, but He wants us to live our own lives with our own husbands and our own children. I think God put 2 Corinthians 10:12b in His Word for a reason. It says, "...but when they measure themselves by themselves, and compare themselves with themselves, they are without understanding."

One more word about our own husbands. We need to dress ourselves to please our own husband. After chatting with Brian about women and clothing one morning as he was heading off to work, he made the comment, "I don't understand why some married women dress to attract other men." He's right. Some may call it high fashion, trend setting, or keeping up with styles. God calls it immodest and defrauding. We need to dress in ways that attract the attention of our own husband and not other men.

I am so thankful for the husband that God has given me. He is a wonderful man who loves the Lord, me, and our daughter. My goal is to love him the way the Lord has commanded me to and to chose to submit to him. As I grow in my walk with God, I also grow in my relationship with my husband. I look forward to the many years of growth ahead.


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