Thursday, August 26, 2010

How to Encourage the Man in Your Life- Chapter 8: How Women Are Encouraging Man- The Men Speak Out

Our call to encourage is not dependent upon the other person's response.

It is one thing for us to talk about what we are doing to encourage our husbands, it is another to find out what they are actually being encouraged by.  Recently, I had the opportunity to find out from Brian what I was doing that encouraged him.  What a boost it was for me to know that I was accomplishing my goal, and it was an encouragement to keep doing what I was doing.  In turn, I noticed that Brian has been going above the normal to be an encourager to me as well. 

So what are some things that men appreciate in addition to what we have already discussed in these chapters?

Loyalty, support, recognition, and adaptability.  Our husbands need to know that we are loyal to them and not to anyone else.  We must be more concerned about meeting his needs and supporting him instead of pleasing those outside of our family unit.  We need to recognize and appreciate when he lends a hand, reaches a personal goal, completes a job/chore, or spends extra time with the kids to give us a rest.   

The way a woman talks about her husband publicly or in private is important to a man.  We have talked about words and the power they have in other posts.  We can either build our man up or tear him down with the words that we use.  But we need to make sure that we do not speak to him one way in public and another way in private.  Yes, there may be times when we need to approach a subject with our husbands, but the Bible says that we are to "speak the truth in love".  Our words can be laced with honey or venom. The choice is ours.

Many ways of encouraging have been suggested- timing, meeting needs, a cheerful attitude, giving feedback, values, ideas, careful about committing her husband's time, listening, gratitude, affection, and over his appearance.  Now, ladies, if we attempted to perfect the art of encouraging our husbands (or the men in our lives) in the ways mentioned above, it would keep us busy for the rest of our lives... are you following me?  We hear constantly of marriages that have fallen into a rut and neither party is willing to make the effort to climb out and change the course of their marriage.  If we are always looking for ways to encourage and love our husbands, we will always be forging new paths and taking our marriages in a new direction.  It is a bit difficult to get into a rut that way.   Remember, someone has to take the initiative, so why not let it be you? 

One more way (and the most important) to encourage our husbands is spiritually.  We need to make sure that we are encouraging our husbands in their spiritual growth and leadership. If we do not notice or acknowledge what he is doing to be the man that God wants him to be and the leader of our homes that God has called him to be, what "reason" will he have to continue to make the effort? Yes, the growth of his spirit deals with his own personal relationship with God, but your encouragement will help him look to the Lord more so that he can be the godly man you are believing him to be. 

Remember, we all have different men in our lives (fathers, fathers-in-law, brothers, sons, uncles, cousins, boyfriends, husbands, etc.).  Except for chapter 6, the principles in this book can be used for any of these relationships to encourage the man that is in your life. Have a great day encouraging him!


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