Hard.....

....is listening to him cry.

But we are working on getting him to fall asleep on his own. Or as Gary Ezzo, author of On Becoming Baby Wise, puts it, we are "training him in the skill of sleep."

He rarely ever cries. But he lets it all out when we put him down for his nap or bedtime. And until yesterday, I didn't realize how strong his will was.... he is my child.

We go in, reassure him, pat his back, sing to him, occasionally hold him for a moment, and make sure he knows that he is not being abandoned. I loved the quote in chapter 8, "Waketime and Naptime", "Your child will not lose brain cells, experience a drop in IQ, or have feelings of rejection that will leave him or her manic depressive at age thirty. You don't undo all the love and care of the waking hours with a few minutes of crying."

I think it is even harder for Brian.

Actually, I know it is harder for Brian.

He hates hearing his kids cry.

It is no joy for me either. Teaching Addie the skill of sleep was hard because we taught her as a 2 month old, and most of the training happened while Brian was at work. By the time Addie was 3 months old, putting her down without a whimper at 8:00 p.m. for bed was a badge of pride (especially when people were around to see how well she went down).

Yesterday, my moral support came from my New Jersey friend Kristi, another Baby Wise following mommy. I probably texted her 20 times throughout Ian's nap time, and her responses reassured me and encouraged me to stay strong. (Thanks a million, my dear!)

It will probably take a week for us to pass this step in our training of our son. But once we all master this skill (Brian included), I know that Ian's sleep patterns will be better established, and he will be more rested and healthier for it.

And as a mother it is my job to do what best for him.... no matter how hard it is on me.

Edit: Bedtime last night was at 7:00 p.m. He cried for 30 min. Actually, it was kind of like a bell curve cry. He cried, sreamed, cried and then fell asleep. He slept from 7:30 p.m. until 5:45 when he fussed for a feeding. I put him back down and he slept for one more hour. It is a short term inconvenience, long term reward.