In My Son's World......

In my son's world.....

he may wake up and announce that he is a dinosaur
or a big, daddy hippopotamus
or a cheese-spider (yes, you read that right)
or a bluebird
or a black horse.

......and that's okay because he is 3.

In my son's world.....

a chair is actually a tall mountain to be climbed and conquered
not a seat to be sat in.
How silly would that be!

...and I am learning to be okay with it because he is 3.

In my son's world......

toy dinosaurs eat Barbies
tables are meant for sitting under
and laundry baskets are made for climbing into

....and I am learning to embrace the adventure of each activity because he is 3.

In my son's world....

Moses parted the Red Sea
Samson knocked down buildings
David killed giants

......and I am always looking for ways to introduce him to new Bible heroes because he is 3.

In my son's world.....

jumping
hopping
running
rolling
are all modes of getting from point A to point B

.....and I am learning to step over, around, and not get in the way because he is 3.

In my son's world....

a boy's world.....

strange noises
loud noises
quiet noises
sudden noises
are all effective methods of communication

....... and I am learning to roar with the best of them because he is 3.

In my son's world.....

I can play along
I can climb mountains with him
I can find new places for him to explore
I can make sure knows what a real hero is
I can let him be mobile
I can teach him which noises are appropriate and when to use them

...or I can squash everything that makes him an intriguing little boy with a heart full of life. 

Most importantly, in my son's world.....

He is my little knight.....

.......and I am his Mommy.

I am linking up at: Happy and Blessed Home, Rooted in Thyme, Bacon Time, The Freshman Cook, Pin Junkie, Life of Faith, Your Homebased Mom, A Mama's Story,       

Why Every Homeschooling Mom Needs to Attend a High School Graduation Ceremony

Two of my former fifth graders.

My kids are 6 and 2 1/2.

We are a long way off from high school graduation.

Or are we?

As I looked around at all of the families attending our local homeschool group graduation ceremony for 16 graduates, I knew these parents had thought graduation was a long way off for them, too.

I was there for one particular student. I had known this young lady since she 4 years old and had the privilege of being her fifth grade teacher when I taught at the Christian Academy. When she was entering 9th grade, her mother (my dear friend Cathy, already a parent completely involved in her daughter's educational experience) began homeschooling her.

From the moment the processional started and Kenberly walked in, the tears began. In my mind, I could see the little 4 year year old with two pigtails walking down the aisle.... and then I envisioned a grown Addie and Ian making that same march.


Right now in May of 2014, the graduation of my own children is a long way off. I am still very deep in the trenches of homeschooling. Ian is learning his sounds and numbers in a "made-for-him-by-mommy" very loose preschoolish idea. Addie is going into second grade.

• There are days when I wonder why I have chosen to take on myself a responsibility that others actually get paid for. 

• There are days when it takes my super smart six year old 5 minutes to give me the answer for 4+2.... not that she doesn't know it. Her mind takes little trips and she asks me a million unrelated questions in between finding the answer and writing it on her paper..... like "Mom, why do mosquitoes bite? Is it because of Adam and Eve?"

• There are days when being wife, mom, teacher, home-keeper, cook, and launderer are overwhelming.

• There are many days when I have to remind myself that my goal is not to have super smart children but to teach them to be godly.

Attending Kenberly's graduation gave me the long term perspective.

• I was able to see the tape across the finish line as each parent handed their student a diploma.

• I was able to remember all of the answers to my "why's".

• I was able to picture Brian and myself handing our children their diplomas and sending them into their next life adventure knowing that we had completed our purpose in the first part of their lives.

• I was able to celebrate with these families who had once been in the trenches and had reached the end of their race.

At one point in the ceremony there was a recognition of the families who were not only celebrating their child's graduation but the end of their homeschool journey because this was their last child to be homeschooled.

I cried!

• It suddenly dawned on me that homeschooling does not last forever.

• This race has a finish line.

• My children will not stay little forever.

• I will have to let them go at some point.

I am so glad I went to this graduation. Sometimes, you need to see the bigger picture to appreciate the small strokes you are making in canvas of your child's life on a daily basis. These strokes can add beauty or can ruin the overall portrait.

As my friend Kristi often says, "The days are long, but the years are short."

I'll rephrase it: the school days are long..... but the school years are short.

Potty Training: Boys

Our experiences in potty training our children have been completely different. I don't know if it has to do with their personalities, temperaments, birth order, or the fact that Mommy is a little smarter the second time around.

Either way, I did learn something from our potty training experience that can translate into most areas of parenting.

We need to wait until our children are ready.

Our daughter had an oral sensory issue as a baby causing her to not eat table food until she was two. Thinking that she would be behind on potty training as well (and since no mother wants to hear the "Oh, she's not potty trained yet???" remark that is never said to make you feel awkward), I decided to start potty training her soon after her 2nd birthday.

Total fail on my part!

She wasn't ready, had no desire, and was happy with a diaper. After a few weeks, I gave up. She tried. She really did.

She just wasn't ready.

Just before she turned three we went out to eat and she declared at the table that she had to go potty. I took her to the bathroom and she had a dry diaper. She went "potty" and announced on her way back to our table for the world to hear that she did it!

Flash forward a few years and now we have Ian. He has been eating table food since he was 6 months old. He began speaking earlier than Addie did. People are constantly telling us how amazed they are with his vocabulary and how clearly he speaks. He knows all of his letters and their sounds. He can count past 10 and knows consecutive sets of numbers in the teens (I have only taught him to count to 10).

What's the difference?

He has Addie. 

Ian has learned from his sister how to do everything she does. He has listened as I have taught her. He has even learned about the potty from her.

About a month ago, Ian began telling me when he had gone in his diaper. He did not like the feel of being wet or dirty. Brian suggested that I begin potty training our little guy.

I was not thrilled.

I thought back to my potty training experience with Addie, how many accidents I had to clean up off the floor and how we needed to stay home. Summer is coming up quickly, and I have so many outings and activities planned for us to enjoy. Potty training was just not going to fit in my schedule.

But I did what my husband said.

One morning after Ian woke up, I noticed that he was dry. I asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty like a big boy and wear big boy underwear (Mickey Mouse and Thomas the Train- you know... big boy underwear).

He said yes.

I told him that if he went in the potty (I will spare you the "mommy terms" I used with him), I would give him gum. He had never had gum before and had asked for it for months.

He lit up.

After a few minutes, he went.

I told him that if he went again, I would give him more gum.

I did not give him excess amounts of liquid. But I did ask him regularly (every 30 minutes) for the first two days if he had to go. I would then sit him down and tell him to try going. This gave him the muscle control practice he needed.

With the exception of two early morning accidents on our second day, he is completely potty trained.... and I am out of gum.

I posed the question on Facebook if potty training a boy was supposed to be that easy. I got a variety of responses from across the spectrum.

I think the key to potty training, whether it is a boy or girl, is to wait until the child is ready (within reason).

Some children are ready much earlier than others. Pressuring them to potty train because they need to keep up with another child does not help them. Comparing them to other children or shaming them is not beneficial to them or you. 

Watch for the signs. 

Do they insist on being changed right after they wet or dirty their diaper?

Do they show an interest in big kid underwear?

Work with your child.

Is your child naturally compliant or does he or she have a strong will?

Does your child respond to affirmation? (Addie and I had to cheer and high five Ian each time he went on the potty for the first couple of days. He eats that up!)

Is there something that your child really likes but doesn't get often? Use that to your advantage and reward him for going in the potty.

Earlier today, I had a great sense of pride as my son came to me and said, "Please, can I go potty?" But even better than that is the freeing feeling when I realized that I do not have to purchase diapers ever again! That is one aisle at the store I will not miss going down.

Celebrate Your Mom with Zulily

**This post contains affiliate links and I will be compensated if you make a purchase after clicking on my links. 

Is your mom a hero, a great cook, an inspiration, your best friend... or something else equally as special?

Every mom is one of a kind.

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This Mother's Day, zulily is celebrating moms by asking kids (big and small) to share photos answering the prompt “My Mom Is _____.” The photos will be displayed in a gallery for the world to view at http://www.zulily.com/mymomis.

 Watch the video for inspiration and to join the celebration:

 

To participate, visit the zulily #MyMomIs webpage, download zulily’s sign or create your own, snap a picture with the sign and share the photo via social media by tagging #MyMomIs or uploading the photo directly to the gallery.

And to learn more about zulily and shop for the hottest trends for moms of all ages and their kids go to http://www.zulily.com.

Her Love Language

This post does contain affiliate links.

On Tuesday, Addie grabbed a piece of computer paper and ran off with a pencil into Ian's room.

(They do most of their playing in Ian's room so Ian doesn't touch anything he shouldn't- like Barbies, favorite baby dolls, or accidentally tipping over the fish tank.)

After Addie was all done, she came over to me and handed me this piece of paper that she had folded over three times.

I opened it.

As I read it, I did not look for spelling mistakes..... she is 5 going on 6.

I did not care about the spacing between her words..... I was reading it as her mother not her teacher.

Her letter said (I corrected the spelling, punctuation, capitalization, and spacing... but I like her version better):

I love hugging Mommy. She is sweet. I love snuggling up with Mommy. She lets me help with the cooking, and Mommy plays with me. 
Love, Addie

As I read this letter, what struck me was how she was telling me something very important.

Something I needed to know.

She was telling me her love languages.

As her mom, I feed her, wash her clothes, and keep the house that she lives in clean- acts of service.

As her mom, I get her special things that I know she likes and will enjoy- gifts.

As her mom, I make sure that I tell her I love her, that I am proud of her, that she is beautiful, that she is brilliant- words of affirmation.

But what she reads as love is when I hug her, snuggle with her, let her lay on my lap when she is supposed to be in bed sleeping, and let her sit on my lap when I read to her- physical touch.

She also feels loved when I let her cook with me, when I play with her, when we have a girls day, when I read our "girl" books at nap time, and when I take just her with me on errands- quality time.

As moms, our job is not just to love our children, but to love them in the way that they feel love. 

This letter told me that I am on the right track. 

This letter is a reminder to me what matters most to Addie.

This letter is an encouragement to me to keep working at showing Addie just how much I love her.

Because as a mom, our job at showing our children that they are loved is never done.

30 Day Mom Challenge

Psalm 127:3 Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him.


If you follow our Facebook page, you have seen that I am working on the 30 Day Mom Challenge. 

Yes, it is a challenge.

A challenge in that it is definitely not easy.

Not easy to realize that Day 2 was going to be a little harder than you imagined, because that was the day no one wanted to cooperate. Life is just easier when we all cooperate.

Day 3 was easy. We hug each other all the time!

Day 4 was a little harder. A friend commented that her son still sleeps in a crib, so unless she grew a giraffe neck, that would be a challenge. When I stopped laughing, I realized Ian sleeps in a crib, too!

Day 6 got started pretty well. We had the batter going for our banana bread (baking a favorite food), and then because of a series of unfortunate events, our mix ended up all over the kitchen floor. Nothing was baked that day.

And then along came Day 8. Calculate how many weekends are left until your child graduates from high school. Just thinking about this one makes me cry.

Why?

Because motherhood is a challenge. Not just for 30 days, but all the time.

Because we have good days and bad days.

Because God has given us these gifts that are to be loved and cherished and then set free.

Because we look at our children in awe of who they are and then in disbelief at what they just did or said.

Because we love our children like no one in the world can.

Because as much as our job is to train them to grow into a young man and woman for God, we don't really want them to grow up.


Because as much as they yell "Mom!" we still love hearing our name called.

Because I would rather live with the "not knowing" how long I have with them than count down every weekend until they graduate.

Because all of those toys we get tired of picking up will all be gone one day, our homes will finally be clean, but empty.

Because one day they will grow up and leave, and these moments that we have with them now will be gone and lost if we don't take advantage of them while they are ours.


Because I love my children.

Like no one else does.

It's Okay

If you have followed me for any length of time, you know that I like my house to look just so. I wake up early in the morning to give myself a head start to my day, I end my day making sure the house is ready for the following day. I like getting one load of laundry done per day, and I like when everything has a place and is in its place.

But.....

I am okay when I look over my home and find a set of toy keys sitting on the coffee table where they obviously do not belong.

I am okay when I find a lonely little stuffed toy on the floor in the dining room.

I am okay when I find the matching sister stuffed toy under the coffee table.

I am okay with pink doillie hearts being stuck to my living room wall.

It's okay because I am reminded that I do not live in the pages of a magazine.

I live in real life.

I live in a home with my husband and two small children.

I live in a home that is lived in.

I want my children to know that home is a place where we live and play and grow......

.......and when we are done, we clean up and put our toy keys away.

How Do You Use Your Naptime?

Naptime is a very important time here in our home. It is one of those times that I try to make sure is undisturbed by our schedule if I can help it. Why?

It gives kids the rest that their bodies need.

Children are constantly growing and napping gives their bodies the down time needed for growing and recharging. KidsHealth gives a recommended amount of sleep children should have at different ages. The Ezzos from the BabyWise series have also made the link from lack of sleep to poor performance in academics and development.

Naptime gives Mom a chance to focus on things that have to get done without the guilt of neglecting her children.

It is so much easier for me to clean the bathrooms, do some organizing, balance our accounts, meal plan, blog, clean the fridge, etc. when the kids are napping. There is no fear of little hands touching things that are not good for them. There are no worries of getting so involved in a project that the children are left entertaining themselves for too long a period of times.

Naptime gives Mom a chance to rest.

As a mother, you are on call 24/7/365. For you to be at your best for your family, you need a time where you can shut everything off (well, not completely) and read, take a nap, talk to a friend on the phone, take a shower, watch a show, or just do nothing at all. It is important for Mom to have some downtime so that she can fully attend to the needs of her family.

One thing that is a plus for our family is that both kids take their naps at the same time. This took some work on our part in order to get the two schedules to blend together, but it was definitely worth the effort.

Enjoy your naptime, Mama.

Hard.....

....is listening to him cry.

But we are working on getting him to fall asleep on his own. Or as Gary Ezzo, author of On Becoming Baby Wise, puts it, we are "training him in the skill of sleep."

He rarely ever cries. But he lets it all out when we put him down for his nap or bedtime. And until yesterday, I didn't realize how strong his will was.... he is my child.

We go in, reassure him, pat his back, sing to him, occasionally hold him for a moment, and make sure he knows that he is not being abandoned. I loved the quote in chapter 8, "Waketime and Naptime", "Your child will not lose brain cells, experience a drop in IQ, or have feelings of rejection that will leave him or her manic depressive at age thirty. You don't undo all the love and care of the waking hours with a few minutes of crying."

I think it is even harder for Brian.

Actually, I know it is harder for Brian.

He hates hearing his kids cry.

It is no joy for me either. Teaching Addie the skill of sleep was hard because we taught her as a 2 month old, and most of the training happened while Brian was at work. By the time Addie was 3 months old, putting her down without a whimper at 8:00 p.m. for bed was a badge of pride (especially when people were around to see how well she went down).

Yesterday, my moral support came from my New Jersey friend Kristi, another Baby Wise following mommy. I probably texted her 20 times throughout Ian's nap time, and her responses reassured me and encouraged me to stay strong. (Thanks a million, my dear!)

It will probably take a week for us to pass this step in our training of our son. But once we all master this skill (Brian included), I know that Ian's sleep patterns will be better established, and he will be more rested and healthier for it.

And as a mother it is my job to do what best for him.... no matter how hard it is on me.

Edit: Bedtime last night was at 7:00 p.m. He cried for 30 min. Actually, it was kind of like a bell curve cry. He cried, sreamed, cried and then fell asleep. He slept from 7:30 p.m. until 5:45 when he fussed for a feeding. I put him back down and he slept for one more hour. It is a short term inconvenience, long term reward.

Book Club: ChildWise

I have mentioned in the past that Brian and I had read the On Becoming Baby Wise books by Gary Ezzo M.A. and Robert Bucknam, M.D. before Addie was born and followed them to the "T" with her. When Ian was born, we decided to try a more relaxed method of parenting an infant..... and regret it. We wish we had stuck with the Baby Wise approach with Ian, because trying to go back and "fix" with a crawler/scooter/stander is so much harder than teaching a training an infant that is not mobile in any way (concerning teaching him to sleep on his own without being held).

I am finding myself trying to reread the Baby Wise books to refresh myself, but I am now reading On Becoming Child Wise also by Gary Ezzo M.A. and Robert Bucknam, M.D. This book covers Parenting Your Child From Three to Seven Years.

Over the next few months we will be going chapter by chapter through the book and I will give you personal examples of how we are trying to implement these principles into our own child raising. If you want to read along you can find copies of this book on EBay (for $1 + shipping) or Amazon (used going for as low as $0.01 + shipping). Your church library may even have a copy that you can borrow.

And because we are busy ladies, taking care of our husbands, children, homes, church activities, etc., we will only be reading one chapter a week (that's doable, right?).

Lots of good stuff in chapter one!

But we won't discuss it until next Thursday (wink!)

Mommy- Daughter Date Night

On Friday night, Addie and I had a Mommy-Daughter date night. It isn't as if we have never done anything together before. Before Ian came, we did everything together. Just her and me. But since Ian has come, the only time she and I have really gone out together has been to run errands or go grocery shopping.

I talked to Brian and we agreed that some purposefully planned Mother- Daughter time was in order. I planned our evening- simple but adventurous. First, we went to Dunkin Donuts. We each got a donut and we shared a chocolate milk. Then we sat and talked. About silly things. About what she hears from her church friends. About what she is not to let people call her or do to her.

Then we got silly again. She decided to try drinking from both of our straws together. We talked about our next stop and what we were going to pick up. 

Our next stop was Michael's. Our purpose was to pick up a scrapbook for Addie so we could work on putting her scrapbook together. They were limited on colors for the style that I needed, so she picked out a red one. We also picked out a craft for her to work on the following day (more on that tomorrow).

We then went shopping for a few last minute items for Brian's Fantasy Football Draft and to pick up the portraits that I had made for our home to replace the ones taken last year.

We talked in the car. We sang in the car. We laughed in the car and stores. (She is quite the little character!) By the time we got home, she was asking when our next Mommy-Daughter date was going to be. I definitely think we'll be doing one next month.

Just the two of us.

Because I'm Their Mother...

Because I'm their mother I know them better than any one else does.

I know their quirks.
I know their language.
I know their abilities.
I know their limitations.

Because I'm their mother I have certain standards that I expect them to live up to.

I feel proud when they live up to my expectations in my presence.
I feel proud when they live up to my expectations when I am not paying attention.
I feel proud when they live up to my expectations when I am not around and I am told by someone else.

Because I am their mother they are not an inconvenience.

I do not look forward to nap time because I can get away from them.
I do not look for ways to pass them off to someone else.
I do not like when others speak of them as if they are an inconvenience.

Because I am their mother I understand them.

I understand what they are saying- even if it makes no sense to anyone else.
I understand why meltdowns happen.
I understand that they are not perfect.

Because I am their mother I love them in a way that no one else can.

I gladly wake up in the middle of the night to feed one or give a glass of water to the other.
I gladly talk about my pets and life when I was a little girl.... for the one millionth time.
I gladly give up my wants to let someone crawl all over me or play princess dominoes.

Because I am their mother, their future is important to me.

I pray for them daily.
I pray for their future spouses.
I spend the time to teach them God's Word in a language they understand.

Because I am their mother, I get to celebrate Mother's Day.

I Love You

She had picked out her outfit so carefully (notice how the yellow in her bow and shirt are picked up in the bright red socks.... she made sure to point that out to me).

She had enjoyed a bit of school time on Mommy and Daddy's unmade bed. (It's more fun on the bed when the sheets are being washed.)

She started playing with Brother because that is one of her favorite things to do.

She leaned over and sweetly and quietly said, "I love you, my son."

What more is there to say.......

                   ........ I love you, my children.



Attachments

That phase has hit... big time. It happened early on but seemed to die down for a bit, but now it has hit as strong as ever.

The attachment phase.

It seems that the place Ian is happiest is on my hip. Generally speaking, if he is not on my hip, he has to be able to see me. If I happen to walk out of his line of vision, the whimpering goes into a full blown cry.

Even though I have laundry to fold, dishes to wash, sister to teach, and I need both hands, it makes me secretly happy that he wants me to be around him so much, holding him, hugging him, and kissing those squishy cheeks.

He holds me, too. He wraps those chubby arms around my neck and squeezes as he tries to chew on my face. Those are his ways of hugging and kissing me back. At least, I like to think so.

I read all of the books before I had Addie, and I followed them to a "T." Let them cry. Just reassure them. They will get past that stage and be fine.

I wish I hadn't read those books sometimes.

Dare I say I've become "wiser" over the last four years?

Babies are babies for only so long.

They grow out of these phases soon enough.

He'll be crawling soon, and my hip is the last place he'll want to be.

Maybe I'm the one who is really getting attached.